Harry's true self
by Fearmyb0xers
Summary: Harry is going into his 5th year of Hogwarts when he finds a note in his teddy bear from Lily Potter, the information will change his life forever. MPREG warning! Drama and Violence warning, Dark!Harry, Snarry, Dark!Sirius. (Sex scenes are cut in this version, for uncut see AFF version)
1. Chapter 1

AN: Since people seemed to have liked my other story of this, this is a complete rewrite and age up instead of Harry going into his 3rd year, he will be in his 5th year. Please read Harry's True Parents for the prequel(only viewable on AFF) and hopefully you all will enjoy this rewrite. I've also improved in my writing skills I believe and I write longer pages.(Heads up that all chapters up to chapter 5 were written between 4/9/13 and 5/6/13.)

Harry screamed in his room, throwing his things around, and grabbing his hair. Dudley had pointed at him for being the cause of him being catatonic, he'd saved the fatass life and how does he repay him? Puts the blame on him! What was worse is that he had used magic outside of school and had received a owl from the Ministry Of Magic that he was expelled from Hogwarts. During his fit he accidentally tore the arm off the teddy bear his mother had left him, it had been stuck under his trunk and when he pulled it to pick it up, it ripped off. Something was off about the stuffed bear, the side completely ripped down the middle when the arm came off, and inside under the stuffing was a scroll of paper.

Pulling out the note from Harry began to read what it said.

"Dear Harry,

If you are reading this...I hope it is you reading this.., James and I are probably dead. In the year since you were born, we have loved you, and cared for you. James as of me writing this does not know the truth, I fear the day he finds out and what he will do. I love James greatly, he is my husband, and I have loved him for years. You are not James and my son by blood, your parent's couldn't keep you safely, and as your mother was my friend. I agreed to be your surrogate mother for him, yes, I know this comes as quite the shock, your mother is a man. There are potions in this world of ours that can do many miraculous things, so there are men who can have children. I had to glamour you the moment you were born, it was the only way to make it look like you were really our child.

Your father is an evil man, he only tolerated me being your surrogate mother for your mothers sake. He is paranoid and only has love for your mother, everyone else either has to support his views or are his enemies. I pray that this letter was accidentally found, that you are still living with us or your mother, and that your father has changed his ways.

While I hope I am wrong about this, do not trust Albus Dumbledore or the Order of the Phoenix. They are my friends and I wish I could trust them, but since I know who your father is...he is the dark lord Voldemort...I would be sent to Azkaban for being a spy. I am not a spy, I was just doing my friend Sirius a favor carrying his child. I had to use a special Obliviation spell on your mother, he doesn't know you are his child, it was the only way to protect us all. I and your real father are the only ones who still remember, and that is only because we are able to block our minds from everyone...your mother was never good at studies or blocking his mind..at least if someone tried hard enough. The code phrase to have him remember is 'Light in the darkness'.

The reason you should not trust my old head master is that I fear he has found out I am hiding something, he had me and James move to his old family home, and had this half crazed seer who only gets a spark of real visions every so often. It can't be just a random event she chose to see a child born the same month as you were, was going to destroy the dark lord. I can not tell you what to do with this information, I want you to know that you have choices with your life, and can only hope for your future happiness. Be it following your real father if he is still alive or following the prophecy and killing him, but do it for yourself and make sure you think hard about it before choosing.

Once something has been placed into motion, it can not be undone, even in this world we live in. If you are not living with your parents or us, I hope you were given to a wizarding family, my sister is my last living relative and is a cruel jealous woman.

With all my love and hope for your happiness in the future,

Lily Potter."

The letter wasn't expanded on and there were no others inside the bear, Harry held the parchment tightly. His god father was really his mother and the man he's been hating all these years, the man who has tried to kill him all these years, was his father. From the letter Lily had wrote to him, Voldemort KNEW he was his father...so why...why would the man try to kill him? He sat down on his bed and reread the letter once more, then a second time. Voldemort was paranoid and only loved Sirius, Sirius had his mind obliviated...did that mean he forgot only the stuff about Voldemort? If that was the case, Voldemort might have blamed him and Lily for ruining his love life. But why would Dumbledore give out such a prophecy? He wasn't stupid enough to actually have let a real one happen in a crowded place where Peter had heard. Harry grabbed some matches from his dresser and set the letter on fire, he was going to have to pretend that he didn't know anything, at least till he learned how to block his own mind.

Harry was now going to have to listen to everything carefully and watch everything closely, what he really wanted to know at the moment was..what was the Order of the Phoenix. He felt sick that there was some secret order that his fake parents were part of with their friends. He was also angry that he was told by Dumbledore that he couldn't be with Sirius cause the Dursley family were his blood and would protect him, even though Dumbledore knew they hated magic and most of what they did to him. Oh how he wished he could talk to his friends about what was happening, but he would never see them again, he was expelled from Hogwarts...

The door swung open and Harry's eyes widened as his uncle and cousin walked into the room.

TBC

AN: I will try not to discontinue this version and actually finish the story, I wanted to rewrite since I didn't like what I did with the other version and cause of some flamers lol I write for fun now and its been 3 year since I discontinued the original.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Rape warning, the actual scene is on AFF, I have removed it to protect my account from being removed

Dudley had just come back from the hospital, he didn't know what happened to him, he didn't see the dementors; to him Harry had assaulted him and that mad him angry. He and Vernon decided Harry needed to be punished, Harry was no longer protected by his wizard school, he was expelled. They walked into Harry's room, the boy had just finished burning his letter, they saw the look of surprise as they entered the room. Moving onto the bed as fast as the meatball could, Dudley grabbed Harry's arms twisting them behind his back. "Can't use your magic now can you Potter!"

Harry struggled, he felt like he was about to vomit the moment Vernon's fist hit him in the gut. "Stop it!" he cried, but it was only answered with Dudley pulling his hair. Why did he have to keep living with these monsters, why had Ron and Hermione not owled him all summer, why had they not saved him this year, and why had they and Ron's family never tried to adopt him since they knew he was abused. The letter had started to open his mind more to all these questions, to be honest with himself, the only nice muggles he knew were Hermione's parents and he'd only met them once. Another punch to the stomach. His whole life all the muggles he'd met had been mean to him, Dudley's friends, the kids at school, everyone.

"Put him onto his stomach." Vernon told Dudley, his son listened, flipping Harry onto his stomach with his arms under him. Dudley then used his weight to press on Harry's back to keep him down, Harry could feel his arms going numb. Something was different than their usual beatings, they had stopped hitting him and he couldn't see what Vernon was doing. That was when Harry felt his pants and underwear removed, he started to thrash against the bed, kicking his legs at Vernon. "Struggle and Dudley will just have to put more weight onto your back." Harry felt the tears fill his eyes as he felt his fake uncle's hands on his rear.

(Part cut)

Once Harry woke up, it had been a few hours after his assault, and he dragged himself out of his room to the bathroom. Vernon had not locked the door after raping him, so Harry was able to get out, and he sat in the bathtub crying as the water washed over his body. He pushed his fingers into himself, he wanted to make sure he was clean inside and out. He was shaking, they had never sexually assaulted him before, why did they hate him so much. Getting out of the tub, he went back to his room and redressed.

Just as Harry was finished getting dressed, he heard noises in the hallway, and he looked out. Moody looked at him, he was with some other people he didn't know and Remus. "Harry, we have to go." Harry didn't need to know any more than that, he grabbed his things and left with the older wizards and witch. "We are the Order of the Phoenix, this is our safe house." Harry stared at them, they really did exist, and he watched as the house suddenly appeared. They went inside and Harry felt his rage boil up as he saw Ron,his family, and Hermione. When they apologized for not writing to him, that they had been there the whole summer, Harry wanted to scream.

Then Harry saw his real mother, Sirius, and the man held his arms out to him. Harry wanted to cry in his arms, tell him everything, but that would put them both in danger. Instead, Harry just ran to him and hugged him, and the man wrapped his arms around the son he didn't remember having. "Harry, what is wrong? You are shaking..." Harry just shook his head, he didn't want to talk, and just held onto Sirius. Sirius looked at the others, they all were watching Harry.

With everything that had happened that night, Harry was exhausted, he went to bed. His dreams were filled with darkness, reliving the rape and abuse, as well as remembering the letter. He didn't know about his connection to the dark lord, or that his strong emotions about all the subjects were being sent to his father threw his horcrux in Harry's scar. Voldemort sat in the Malfoy's mansion, he saw the torment Harry had suffered, and he flew into a rage. He'd killed Lily Potter because he was paranoid that she'd killed his son and replaced him with her own, that the child was going to destroy him, he sent his death eaters to the Dursley's house.

Most of the next day Harry was quiet, he sat by himself, and didn't talk to Ron and Hermione. They both had been given prefect status at Hogwarts, he deserved it more than Ron. But it didn't matter, he was expelled, he had a court date, but he wasn't sure he would win. He pulled his legs to his chest, he was in the house library, and the adults were all discussing something in private; he didn't know that it was about the Dursley's being murdered. All Harry knew was that he wasn't invited to the conversation about his life and it made him paranoid, why wasn't he allowed to know about the things happening in his life, and everyone else was allowed to know everything.

It was like that for the next week, even Hermione and Ron were acting even weirder around him then when he first showed up. They were quiet, whispering about him behind his back, and shutting up when he turned the corner. Sirius was told to stay away from Harry till they had found out why the Dursley's were killed, how had the dark lord found out where the Dursley's lived, it was Dumbledore's orders, not that Harry knew why everyone was dancing around him. Harry knew they didn't know about the rape, at least he hoped not, if Sirius knew...he would have went into a rage of screaming that he wanted to kill the bastards.

There was another meeting, this time it was about Harry's up coming trail at the Ministry of Magic. Severus had left the meeting and went to the library to find something to read, the blacks had a huge book collection, he looked at Harry as the boy started to cry to himself, and he couldn't help but go over to the young boy. The closer he got to Harry, the more he saw that the boy looked pale, there were bags under his eyes and he was sitting in a corner of the room. He had half noticed that the boy would go into the library every day since he arrived, but he had assumed he was finally studying, had he known the boy came into the room to cry, he probably would have told one of the others to check on him.

"Potter? Shouldn't you be with your friends?"

"I don't have friends..." Harry wiped his eyes. "Friends would write to me, friends would help me get away from things that could hurt me..." he put his hands to his face, the rape having set in more. He started to break down, the shock from it was finally wearing off, and he sobbed into his hands. "Why did no one save me!" Severus was taken back by the sudden out burst. Harry shook as he started to stand, he looked at Severus. "Professor...please obliviate me...make me forget the last few days, it would be better than living with what I know...what that fat bastard did to me!" he grabbed the mans robes. "I just want to be a normal kid." his eyes the color of Lily's stared into Severus', filled with tears, and the man pulled him into a comforting hug; it wasn't a normal gesture for him, but he couldn't stand there and let the boy cry.

Severus rubbed Harry's back to help calm him down. "Obliviation is not something to play with Potter...what exactly happened..." Harry told him about the horrible night he had, Severus was the only person he could trust, the man was a double agent, but had also protected him. He did leave out the whole being the son of Sirius and the dark lord, but telling him about the rape had angered the man, as well as the information that Dumbledore and the Weasley's knew about them beating him, and it was his first time hearing about it and that they had him living under the stairs the first half of his life. To him Lily's child,his childhood best friends child, had been tortured and put through hell, that no one had tried to save the boy, and it made him hate the lot of them even more. "So, Dumbledore as well as your friends knew about them abusing you and did nothing?"

"...Dumbledore said that the Dursley's were family, that their blood would protect me." Harry looked up. "But how can that be right...how can them beating me up,starving me, locking me up, and forcing me to do stuff for them be to protect me." he looked at the floor. "I rather Voldemort had killed me as a baby.." he was slapped across the face.

"You are fifteen! You shouldn't talk about that sort of thing!" Severus hissed. "You have many more years to your life, from this moment on live for yourself, you do not have to live up to being the golden boy or let people walk all over you. You do not need to be nice to everyone and you shouldn't have felt like you couldn't defend yourself against your psycho muggle family." his eyes widened as Harry leaned up and kissed him, Harry was so over whelmed he couldn't help himself. Severus was in shock, he couldn't move, Harry quickly pulled back.

"I'm...I'm sorry sir..." Harry went to run out of the room, but his arm was grabbed by the older man, and he was kissed deeply. He could feel his face turn bright red, it felt hot, and he didn't feel gross at all. Severus didn't even understand why he was kissing Harry, he knew it was wrong, Harry was a child and his student; but he couldn't stop himself after the boy had started it the second he kissed him first. Both of them made small noises as the kiss escalated, they were hidden behind some bookshelves, and their tongues rubbed against each other, their eyes were closed.

Severus finally came back to his senses and pulled away from Harry. "...We can't..." he walked off, leaving Harry breathing heavily in the library alone. Harry's mind was in chaos, he had just made out with one of the meanest teachers in his school, and liked it. The man had calmed him down and showed him kindness, he felt his heart beating hard in his chest; Severus was his first kiss. Severus left the Black house, he needed to go home and think about what he'd done, and why the dark lord had sent death eaters to kill the Dursley's so violently.

It took Harry a few minutes to collect himself, his legs had been shaking from the way kissing Severus had made him feel. He heard Molly calling everyone to dinner, once he walked into the kitchen he could see that they were hiding something from him, the adults didn't look him in the face. He sat down beside Sirius and he thought, he was going to live for himself from this moment on. "Light in the darkness." he whispered, glancing at Sirius as the mans face paled, his pupils turned small, and he ran out of the room. "Sirius!" Harry ran out after him.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

AN: The way I wrote Harry's True Parents was years ago, I suggest reading it as a summary of Voldemort and Sirius' relationship, and I won't be rewriting it so it will have spelling errors and worse grammar than this story will o.o; I intend to go to college for writing some day to learn grammar and things that I lack lol

Everyone sat in the kitchen, they were confused why Harry and Sirius had suddenly ran from the room. Harry was following his mother as he ran into a bathroom, he stood beside him as he began to vomit, all of his memories of the years with Voldemort, all the years that he was in love with him and even had a child with him. Sirius had spent the last fourteen years hating his lover, wanting the man really dead for being an evil man, and wanting to kill him for killing his best friends. But what really was hurting was the thought that James was his friend, that he really did like James, but he was a spy in the order and if James had known. Sirius closed his eyes tightly, he didn't want to think about how James would have treated him if he knew his real alliance. He felt sick again, he began to think about Remus hating him if he found out, and how he'd loose his last true friend from childhood. He glanced at Harry, the boy was his child, and he worried how he knew how to give him back his memories, and was he aware he was technically his real mother.

Sirius was starting to notice the changes in Harry's appearance, in a way only mental deterioration would change someone. He knew it all to well from his changes in Azkaban, but what would make Harry so stressed. Sirius was cursing himself that he didn't notice it at all, that he wasn't able to talk to Harry about his problems, all because the Order didn't want him accidentally telling Harry about his aunt and uncle or about things involving the trail at the Ministry. "Sod it all..." he grabbed Harry holding his son close and tightly. "Tell me what is going on...how did you know the code word." Harry pushed his face into Sirius' chest crying. "What is going on to make you so fragile, you aren't the boy I remember from the last two years..." Sirius ran his fingers through Harry's hair.

"...you know they are probably listening to us somehow...we can't talk here." Harry whispered, his tears falling onto Sirius' shirt. Even though he'd told Severus about the rape, he knew that all the adults were in a meeting, and that the others were trying to over hear the meeting. He wasn't about to risk anyone finding out about his real parents or about his conflicting thoughts on switching sides, he didn't feel safe with the Order talking about him and keeping secrets. He had also had time to think about events that had happened the years before, why was he friends with Ron and Hermione? Yes they had been together and through so much over the last four years. Yeah they had helped him out in school, Ron's family had saved him part of some summers. But why had neither of them fought Dumbledore, made him let Harry live with them, and with how the order was able to hide the Black house from Death Eaters, why couldn't they have done that with him in the first place. It always came back to the same trail of thought for him, always back to why they didn't help him, he couldn't get it out of his mind.

Ron and Hermione were his friends, but he knew he couldn't talk to them about his real parents, they wouldn't understand; hell he didn't understand. He still hated Voldemort, the man had killed a woman he always thought was his mother and in her letter she seemed to genuinely love him. While he had given Sirius back his memories, he wasn't sure how to tell the man that he was conflicted on what he should do about Voldemort, Sirius had been in love with him for some reason right? Harry's mental state was dissolving, to much was happening all at once, he also regretted kissing Severus without any judgment on what he was doing, but the man had also kissed him back. Harry grabbed his head, everything was wrong, he just wanted to go back to before he found anything out. Ron and Hermione had not even asked him what was wrong, they hadn't come to find him in the library, they hadn't sat down with him and asked him what the Dursley's had done that summer.

Sirius continued to hold his son as he began to cry again, Harry was a mess, he didn't know what had happened, but he was going to get it out of him as soon as it was safe to talk. Harry's hormones,stress,anger,jealousy, and feeling of being alone with his issues had been the main reason he'd kissed Severus, the man was the only one of the whole group to listen to him, talk to him, and comfort him after a week of bottling up everything. Once he let the emotional flood gates open up to the man, who had been showing him a whole new side of himself in a kind manner, he couldn't stop himself. Severus was disgusted with himself, he'd kissed a child,a student, and the child of his ex-best friend and only love. The boy looked like the man that had stolen Lily, but had her beautiful green eyes, he was now at his home and pacing in thought of his actions.

The trial date had come, Harry and Sirius had not talked about what they knew, and Harry was pretending to be back to normal. When they had both gone back to the kitchen, they explained that Sirius had ate something that didn't agree with him earlier and he had felt sick. Harry was still pale and looked sick from lack of sleep, but he had been talking to his friends, they still seemed to be hiding something but he wasn't sure what. The whole trial was hell, this Umbridge woman was making Harry want to stab her or hex her with something, and why was Dumbledore treating him so coldly? First it was giving Ron of all people the Prefect position, now he wasn't even looking at him kindly or talking to him. He wouldn't answer any of his questions and just walked away, did he know about his real parents like Lily had feared?

Once he got back to the Order's hide out, he was already annoyed with the whole day, and seeing Ron and Hermione arguing over stupid things made him snap. "Why don't you two just snog and get it over with! You both are so annoying!" he balled his fist at his side. "There are so many other things going on and all you two do is dance around your feelings, then when the other thinks you don't like them you both get so jealous you fight even more. I've had it, Ron, Hermione wanted you to ask her to the dance last year because she likes you, but you are so dense you can't see what everyone in the whole school and even your family can see!" he looked at Hermione. "And you! You know how stupid he is, you don't need to get so upset with him for not noticing your feelings, that whole scene was embarrassing and you are smart enough to know you should have been the one to confess first!" he breathed heavily, throwing his arms into the air, and stormed back to the room he'd been sleeping in.

Ron and Hermione, as well as everyone in the house, stood in shock. Harry had never blown up like that to either of his friends before, they had never seen him get so angry. "...I guess the trial wasn't that great huh?" Ron glanced at Hermione, the girl just glared at him and walked off. "What?" Fred and George snickered at Ron for completely missing the whole point Harry had been trying to make. Harry buried his face into his pillow and screamed, why did everything always happen to him, why did that woman seem to want him to be expelled from Hogwarts, and why had Dumbledore been so cold to him.

Harry's scar began to burn, he cried out in pain, and curled into a ball on the bed. He was given an image of Dudley, he was in some type of cell, he looked terrified, and was screaming. The boy was bleeding from his nose, he looked like he'd been beaten to an inch of his life, and his clothes were covered in blood. Just as fast as it had come into his mind, the image was gone again, and his scar had stopped hurting. "...What..what was that..." he sat up. Why had he just seen what looked like his evil bastard of a fake cousin being tortured? That made him sick to his stomach was that he actually was enjoying watching the fatass scream, what was wrong with him. He started to fall asleep, his thoughts on what Sirius would do to the Dursley's if he found out about the rape. Had he known the vision was real or what had actually happened to the Dursley's, he would have told Sirius what he'd seen.

It was in the muggle news papers, after the ministry of magic had added a few things to the scene, the papers said that the Dursley's son had been severely disturbed and started to make homemade explosives. As far as the muggles were concerned, Dudley had accidentally blew up his parents with the homemade bombs, the news paper said that the Dursley's nephew Harry Potter and their son Dudley were missing and both were suspects in the deaths of the adults of the family. The recent news was neighbors reported that Harry was always causing trouble for Petunia and Vernon and that Dudley had been a known bully around the neighborhood and school, that they'd often hear them fighting, but that the Potter boy had already left for school before the incident, leaving only Dudley Dursley the sole suspect in his parents deaths.

While everyone else was reading these news paper articles, they instantly hid them from Harry, Sirius had wanted to tell his son what was going on, and he wanted to talk to him about what was bothering him. Harry seemed to go back to normal after a few days of being with the order, he didn't even try to talk to Sirius about the rape or anything related to his relationship with the dark lord. But every now and then, Sirius would see the mask of normality slip, he'd see the expression of a young boy who had learned to much for his brain to take in. Harry tried to pretend to be happy, he tried to ignore his issues and his mental health problems, and he tried to ignore that Snape hadn't looked at him at all since their kiss. At least it didn't seem the man had told anyone else about the rape, it was probably to save his own ass for what he'd done. Even though the kiss was from Harry wanting to have physical comfort and was part of a break down, it hurt to be ignored completely by the only person who knew what had happened to him and that he could possibly talk to; Severus couldn't bring himself to look Harry in the face, he felt like he'd betrayed Lily again and Harry's eyes haunted him.

Remus had noticed the change in Sirius since the day he and Harry had left the kitchen, he'd questioned his friend about what had happened, but Sirius had waved it off every time he asked with it being a stomach ache. Remus wasn't buying that excuse and had been keeping an eye on his old friend, he was worried about him and Harry. He was having his own issues with Tonks not taking no as an answer, that he was to old for her, which luckily for Harry and Sirius would distract him for awhile and make him forget some things. Ron and Hermione had started to date, Harry hadn't realized exactly how he'd feel about it when it happened. They had both tried to not make him feel like a third wheel, but when they started to flirt or snog, Harry would excuse himself from the room.

Harry had come across another little problem, because he finally got Ron and Hermione together, Ginny had started to be a little more forward with him. She started to wear makeup, would make little comments to flirt with him, smile at him. Now, had she done that the year before, he might have asked her out. But after having his first kiss with Snape, even if it wasn't meant like he fancied him, it wasn't bad or gross to him, and he was now confused if he actually liked blokes; more so with the fact that she was now creeping him out and he didn't find her attractive at all. Fred and George weren't helping the issue at all, they were giving poor Ginny horrible tips on how to get Harry's attention. Molly was furious when Ginny came down to breakfast wearing a short skirt and a tank top with bright red lipstick,red eye shadow, and a load of blush on her cheeks, the girl looked like a fourteen year old crack hooker; the twins were rolling in laughter before being punished by their mother.

Harry felt like an outsider, his best friends who had ignored him because of Dumbledore all summer, were now ignoring him because of him telling them to get together. Ginny after finally getting the hint he didn't want her threw a tantrum at the twins for what they'd done to her and she now couldn't even look at Harry without crying or storming off angry. He started to hang out with Sirius more, playing card games, talking about happier things, and how he wished he could stay with Sirius every summer. Sirius found himself getting mushy and hugging his son when he'd talk about how awesome it would be to live together, that he wouldn't have to go back to the Dursley's; it was taking a lot for Sirius not to just blurt out that since the Dursley's were dead, Harry could possibly live with him now.

The day everyone was ready to head to Hogwarts, Sirius took Harry off to be alone with him as Padfoot, they were finally out of the house together and he knew there were no listening spells. He changed back into a human, naked, but human and wasn't shy about sitting on the floor in front of his son that way. "Alright, we should talk about whats going on, before I send you off for another year of school. I want to talk to you...I am sure you have a lot of questions about why I had a relationship with such a dark wizard..." he took a deep breath and began to tell Harry about his time with the dark lord and how being raised in a dark wizard family while also being a smart ass, how even though he actually believed in most of the things his parents raised him to believe, he wanted to torment them by acting like he had no interest in the dark arts at all. He told Harry how the dark lord had been invited to his home by his family, that the man had come to the house for years to train Sirius and his cousin Bellatrix to be good death eaters. Sirius admitted that he was a bit of a masochist and even though the dark lord had treated him cruelly, he ended up falling for him, and it was a mix of if Bellatrix ever caught them together he would enjoy seeing the look on her face as she was in love with the dark lord from the moment she saw his hansom face; this made Harry imagine the young Tom Riddle from the diary and not the snake faced mad man he'd become.

As Harry listened to Sirius' story, well the parts he caught with how fast Sirius was talking or would say he'd skip some parts to save time, he was wondering how Sirius had even become friends with James Potter and Remus. When the story was done, it had been ten minutes already, Harry was glad they'd left the house early. "Will you try to go back to him?" Sirius didn't know how to answer that question so he pressed his lips together and stayed silent for a moment, before asking Harry what exactly had happened during the summer. Harry felt like his heart has stopped and his body felt numb, it was going to be the first time he talked about it to another person since he told Snape. "...Not just this summer...every summer besides my 3rd year when I was able to threaten them with my murderer godfather..." he took a deep breath. "They weren't good people, they hated wizards, I don't know why Dumbledore couldn't have found a better home for me...you know about the room they use to make me sleep in under the stairs..." he looked down. "But you don't know about everything, if I burned the food by mistake, Petunia would burn my arm on the stove or beat me with a wooden spoon. They let their fatass son beat me up whenever he wanted, he's broken my nose I don't know how many times and they'd say I'm just clumsy and fell." tears started to fill his eyes. "But...but this summer." he swallowed. "It was the worst thing ever..." he cried as he started to tell how his fake uncle and cousin had beat him before Vernon had raped him.

Sirius' face turned red from his anger, he pulled his son to him and hugged him tightly. "If those muggle bastards weren't already dead thanks to your father some how finding where they lived, I would have crucio'd them to oblivion, then put them over a large fire to burn them before sending them to their muggle hell." he would have yelled that had he not been trying to keep his voice down from the others. Harry's eyes were wide when he heard him say 'If they weren't already dead' he looked up at Sirius. "...Well technically they only found the horse woman and the pig, that boy of theirs wasn't found dead or alive in the house. Some how Tom had found them and went a little over kill, he made them explode into bloody messes, the ministry had to cover it up."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing, Vernon and Petunia were dead, and Dudley was missing. His vision finally made sense, Dudley was still alive and being tortured by his father, and it didn't make him sick this time that he was happy it was real. Harry would have talked more, but the small alarm spell Sirius had put next to the door went off, it let the both of them know that someone was about to open the door. Sirius quickly turned back into Padfoot, he nuzzled Harry, and Harry wiped the tears from his eyes. He had to go to school, it was his fifth year, and he wanted to know why Dumbledore was ignoring him, he figured he could talk to him better in school if he went directly to his office. "...I think you should go back to him...if you still love him..." he said low and they both walked out of the building.

Harry got onto the train with the other Hogwarts students, Draco shoved him out of his way as he made his way down the cars to his usual compartment with his friends. A thought came into Harry's head, had he actually been raised by his blood parents, would he and Draco have become friends? He knew he'd have not asked the hat to not put him in Slytherin. Would Snape have treated him better or would he have ignored him like he did most students? Or if he was in Slytherin would Snape have treated him like he did Draco? Then the last thoughts were...since he was the son of Voldemort, would everyone be scared of him or would they all worship him. Harry didn't want to be worshiped or have people jealous of him, its why he hated being known as the golden boy, the hero of the wizarding world. He just wanted a normal life, a normal family, and friends that didn't make him feel like ripping his hair out. Harry sighed and sat in a compartment with Ron and Hermione, while they were dating now, it brought a whole new row of things for them to fight about...like Ron just glancing at another girl or Hermione looking at another boy, even if neither was actually looking at the opposite sex but something in that direction.

The shock of the news about the Dursley's had started to wear off, he hadn't reacted completely to the news because they'd been interrupted. He suddenly burst into laughter and tears, tears of happiness from finally being free of them, from never having to see them again, and never have them touch him again sexually or harmfully. Ron and Hermione stopped fighting, watching as Harry had another mini break down into madness. They couldn't understand why he was laughing and crying at the same time, they had just been fighting and took it that he was making fun of them. By the time he had regained control of himself, Ron and Hermione had left the compartment, and his heart was beating hard in his chest, his breathing was fast. He wondered if the freedom he'd given Dobby had felt as good as he felt at this moment about being free from the Dursley's forever, it felt like he could be happy now, he didn't know that once he got to school that refreshed feeling would disappear.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

AN: To those who thought I was going to make Harry pregnant by Vernon lol no worries, while in the original version of this story Harry was able to get pregnant without a potion or spell because the potion Sirius took made him kinda a mutant, in this rewrite he will need to take a potion or use a spell to be able to be pregnant, so yep don't worry about that lol

Hogwarts, it use to be the one place Harry considered his true home, besides the times he was able to go to the Weasley's. But as he got off the train, he wasn't even thinking about being happy to be in school, he was thinking about where he was going to live during the summer. He guessed that since his father was back that the order would either put him with one of the members, if that was the case he wasn't sure how he'd feel actually living with anyone other than the Weasley's, even though current events made him not sure about living with them all summer; it was still better than with the Dursley's. He was hoping that he'd be allowed to stay in the Black family home, it was his home by all rights, and as far as everyone else knew, Sirius was his godfather. The problem of being a teenager, whose starting to go over his life choices from the past, was that he was thinking about all the times Ron was a prat, like fighting with him when his name came out of the Goblet Of Fire or any small things that were beyond his control, and Hermione being a know it all all the time. At this point, Hermione was more of a best friend than Ron, as they had never actually fought much, sure once in a while she'd tend to nag about studying, but they never actually had a fight like he and Ron have. It kind of put him in a grudge against Ron, he knew he couldn't ever talk to him about his current problems, and if Hermione wasn't muggleborn...he knew he'd be asking her what he should do, but as she was muggleborn her views would be bias. Well he supposed even if she wasn't, she still wouldn't like the idea of who his father was; but he felt like he could at least talk to her about the rape more than he could talk to Ron about it.

All the students grabbed their belongings and headed to the school, the new students would point at the horseless carriages and wonder what kind of spell was cast on them. Harry felt a shiver go down his back, he felt like he was being watched, and he slowly glanced around him. Many of the students were giving him a wide variety of looks, ranging from fear,anger, and disgust, and he had no clue why they were looking at him. He was standing alone, his friends had gone off ahead, they still believed he'd been laughing at them, and there was a circle of kids watching him and keeping their distance; then a kid yelled out. "It's the boy who lied!" the black haired boy was a first year student, he pointed at Harry. "Because of you, my parents almost stopped me from coming to Hogwarts, they said that you're a murderer and even the papers are saying you killed Cedric Diggory to get all the glory and then blamed it on the dark lord who has not returned!" Harry glared at the child, he was ready to hit him with a hex. "Since school has just started, who did you have lie for you to cover up the murder of your muggle family? Did they find out that you are spreading lies and you had to shut them up without leaving a chance someone could remove an obliviation spell? Come on, we all want to know why a murdering liar is allowed back in school!" Harry looked around at all the students who started to agree with the young boy.

"I didn't kill Cedric! Voldemort really has come back! He killed Cedric!" Some of the students gasped at hearing the dark lords name, but Harry continued to plead his case. "I was with the Weasley family, I didn't even know my aunt and uncle were murdered till earlier today!" there was chatter about him going on lies again. "Why would I lie about any of this! I almost die every bloody year in this school to protect everyone! Then you all suddenly start reading those horrible papers and think I'm doing this for attention! How many times has Rita Skitter wrote false stories about people?" he was shaking. " I won't go into my family matters with you lot, but I can tell you with all honesty I have only just learned about what happened, the Weasley's didn't show me any muggle papers." he realized the order hadn't even shown him The Daily Prophet after 'The Boy Who Lies' article, he knew he was going to have to find a way to see what that horrible Rita woman had wrote.

Before any of the other students could speak their minds, Hagrid, who had been listening to what was said and trying to keep his cool, told them it was enough and to get to the school. He apologized to Harry about the cruelty the other students were showing him, but Harry just shook his head and continued into the school. Harry noticed in the Great Hall, that there were a lot less students in all the grades, from the one boys outburst he guessed they were kept home. Again he felt people staring at him and knew it wasn't in his head or paranoia now, he felt depressed that even Gryffindor students were looking at him in distrustful ways, what had he done to make them all turn on him and believe Rita of all people. He looked up at where the teachers were sitting, Snape looked grumpier than usual and was glaring toward the other teachers, Harry followed his view and saw Dolores Umbridge, the woman from his trial. Dumbledore introduced her to the students, most of the other teachers looked just as annoyed as Snape, and Harry turned pale at the news she was going to be a new teacher.

Why was it that he couldn't be completely happy? Was there some huge curse placed on him from the moment he was born? He'd had hopes of having a normal school year, he hoped that Sirius would let Voldemort know he was their son and that there would be no threat against his life for once. He stormed into the Gryffindor common room after they were told to go to their rooms, he put his hands into his hair in frustration. "That horrible woman from my trail had to come! Why is everything turning to shit!" some younger students gasped at him cursing. Seamus had been one of the students who heard the boy accusing Harry of almost being the reason he couldn't come to Hogwarts, while he also was angry at Harry, he kept his mouth shut and didn't look at him. Harry knew that the other Gryffindor's had read The Daily Prophet and had believed it, their faces all showed it, Ron and Hermione had decided to forget about being mad at Harry and tried to talk sense into those who thought Harry was lying. Ron and Hermione had their own rooms as Prefects, so Harry felt he was going to miss Ron's snoring, and was still jealous that he wasn't prefect; he felt like he needed his own room after the summer he had.

Hell, Harry was in hell, Hogwarts was now like a prison, it had been only two weeks since Umbridge started being a teacher. She was ruining the whole school with her rules. Harry had completely isolated himself from the other students, he felt that if they could so easily turn their backs on him that they were never his friends. He would still hang out with Ron and Hermione when they weren't in date mode, though the rules regarding male and female interaction had put a strain on their relationship. Umbridge's little squad of gits from Slytherin had just been put together, she wanted them to keep an eye out for rule breakers. Neville was still on friendly terms with Harry, Neville was always a nice guy, even when Harry and the others had made fun of him; Harry felt guilty that he still didn't think of Neville as an actual friend. Because of finding out Voldemort was his father, whenever Harry was asked about the dark lord returning, he'd lie and say he wasn't sure anymore, that he was attacked and suffered a concussion while fighting off the attackers to be able to bring Cedric's body back to his family; this was accepted by most, even Umbridge agreed that it must have been a concussion.

If it wasn't for a few others pointing it out, Harry would never have noticed that he had changed, he didn't look in mirrors much as his hair would always be the same and he didn't need to keep it looking brushed. His face was slenderer than it had been, he'd grown taller, and other features had made him slightly more attractive. While most passed it off with him finally hitting puberty, Harry could see what was really happening, he looked a mix of the young Tom Riddle from the diary and teen Sirius Black in most of the new features, he could only see it since he knew who his real parents were and was remembering how each looked compared to him; his eyes remained green like Lily's. Harry hadn't heard anything about Sirius, Ron and Hermione were whispering to each other every so often and would glance at Harry like something horrible had happened. Harry tried not to think the worst case, which was either that Sirius was caught as a spy or that Voldemort had killed him.

If Sirius had been caught by The Order, they would probably try to read his mind or use a veritaserum potion on him, if that happened...they would know about Harry being the dark lords son. Since no one had called the Auror's to come and take him away to Azkaban, he figured that Sirius hadn't been caught. Harry was sick of being kept in the dark about everything in his life, it was his life and he should know what was going on, and he didn't want things to be sugarcoated or be protected like he was a fragile child; he didn't realize he really was a fragile child or that he was going insane slowly. In the two weeks since school started, Harry was paranoid, he thought everyone was whispering about him, about his life, like they knew anything about him besides what lies were wrote in The Daily Prophet. He was twitchy, jumped whenever Ron or Hermione would touch him, and he was hardly eating.

It was no longer just about the stories they'd read or heard about Harry that made the other students start to avoid him, it was the way he was acting, it was off putting and they knew he was going mad. Harry was starting to realize he needed to talk to someone, he had been putting it off way to long to actually talk normally to someone, and at this point he only knew of one person he could actually talk to. He put his invisibility cloak around himself and left the common room in the middle of the night, he went down to Severus' room. Hesitating for a moment, he knew he'd be in trouble for being out of his room after hours, he knocked on the door. It took a few moments, there was some muttering about who would it be at this time of the night, and the door opened. Severus was wearing a green robe over his sleepwear, he looked annoyed that no one was at the door and was about to close it again.

"Sir.." Harry whispered so the paintings and anyone passing by couldn't hear. "I really need to talk to you..." he moved the cloak off his face a little. Severus pressed his lips together in annoyance, but moved aside so that Harry could come into the room, and closed the door behind him. Removing the cloak, Harry stood in the Head of Slytherin's room, it was his first time in the mans room, and it was filled with books and potions, as well as a fully stocked wine and whiskey cabinet; that was where Snape headed and grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey and a glass. Harry watched as Severus sat down in his favorite chair and began to pour himself a glass of the whiskey, he waved a hand for Harry to go ahead and sit on his couch. Severus was trying to get use to the fact that Harry no longer looked the same as he use to, which was sort of a good thing, he not longer saw James Potter every day. Harry sat on the couch and started to talk to Severus about his problems. "I can't trust anyone, you are the only one who knows what happened to me during the summer, everyone thinks I'm a liar about the dark lord being back and my so called friends turned on me in a second and rather believe the stupid woman who writes crap stories."

Severus took a sip of his whiskey and sighed. "They are scared Potter, if he has returned it means that there is danger and that most of them will not be safe." he leaned back in his chair. "They would rather believe you are a liar than face that there will be a war. That is why they sent that insufferable woman from the ministry." he clutched his glass in his hand taking a swig from it. "The cruelty of children is not lost on me Potter, your father and his friends made my school life hell." he sighed again in frustration. "It is best you get over your grudges and feelings of paranoia, yes they are talking about you, it isn't in your head. But for the sake of your mental health, you should just ignore it, their fools and just want someone to pick on." he sat up straight. "Be a better person than your father and them, don't let their foolishness bother you. You have been through so much at such a young age, you have done and seen things the other children would need a change of pants after. You are not in the wrong here, it is them who are being petty." Severus put his free hand to his temple, he couldn't believe he was giving advice to Harry like this, he paled when he glanced at the boy and saw that tears had started to stream down his face.

Harry shook, wiping the tears from his face. "Why does everyone know more about me than I do? I know The Order knows things they aren't telling me." he hiccuped and looked at Severus with sad green eyes. " They even went so far as to hide news papers from me." he balled his fist on his lap. "Professor...I have something I need to get off my chest and you are the only one I can talk to about this, you have to swear absolutely that you will never tell The Order." he looked at the thirty-five year old man with a deadly serious stare. "They want to keep their little secrets from me that is fine, I have secrets they don't know about too. Please sir, what I am about to tell you can't leave this room." Severus stared at the boy, he slowly agreed to never speak of what the boy was about to tell him and to get on with it. "Well...you see sir I'm..."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

AN: o.o I am sorry for my constant hiatus, my attention was being put into playing video games, this chapter was written back on 5/6/13. This was the last chapter I had wrote so far, I had lost the memory stick with it on it and just found it. Next chapter will be longer and I will try not to be so distracted, I have got my writing mood back.

Harry hesitated he was starting to think it wasn't such a good idea, sure the man was nice to him to a degree, but had been a total asshat most of the time. He also didn't know what side the man truly was on, he was definitely a double agent, but which way did he lean more. The boy put his hands to his face in frustration and groaned, the man was a death eater and an Order member, he also was the only person in the world he felt he could talk to in the school. "...I'm not the son of James Potter..." Severus raised a brow at this, he didn't think Lily would cheat on James. " I am only half Lily Potters child, I don't know exact details about it. I was upset and I found a note from her in my teddy bear. She said my real mother couldn't keep me and he." he saw Severus' eye twitch at the 'he' part. "Put his, I guess it was his egg into her, I talked to my real mother...sir I know you want to speak, but please let me finish. I talked to my real mother and he told me that because I wasn't in him for very long before I was put into Lily, he was told by a Mediwitch that I would have Lily's DNA as well, as she would be carrying me to full term...these are all things I don't exactly understand. But I'm just saying what he told me." Harry swallowed, he was just fifteen years old, he didn't know all that much about human anatomy, even more so wizard anatomy, hell till he read Lily's note he didn't think men could be pregnant. "My real mother who conceived me is Sirius Black and my father...he is Voldemort." he watched as Severus turned pale, the man put his glass down and stood. "Professor?"

"Is this some sort of joke Potter?" Severus clutched his bottle of fire whiskey in his hand. "Lily Potter would never! Have any part of what you just said." his face was turning red from anger, he drank straight from the bottle in his hand. "She was muggleborn, the dark lord would have killed her than let her raise his child!" he took a staggering breath. "He DID kill her and tried to kill you as well boy!"

"I'm just telling you what her letter told me and what Sirius told me!" Harry balled his fist tightly on his lap. "What do you even know about my mother..uh...Lily."

"She was my friend!" Severus' shoulders tensed as he yelled at the boy. "I knew her better than that fool James, but she choose him after I made one mistake!" he fell back into his chair, dropping his bottle to the floor. "She was a good person, she wouldn't have agreed to bare the spawn of the dark lord."

Harry was in shock, he didn't much like being called a spawn and Severus had been Lily's friend? He knew Severus' had a grudge against James and from different things he'd heard from Remus and Sirius, he knew that they all had bullied the man, though they left out details. "She did it for Sirius, she didn't want anyone to find out who Sirius was with...who my father was..she knew we'd both be killed." he looked at his lap, he didn't exactly know the whole story, he just knew what was in the letter and the little bit Sirius had told him. For all he really knew Sirius was lying to him and the letter could have been fake, but it didn't explain how he looked like all three of his parents, so he knew it had to be true.

Severus looked at his fire his expression was that of a man who'd had many regrets, with his right hand he rubbed his index finger against his thumb in thought. "Lily...she would have done something like this to help a friend." his expression turned to anger once again. "How could she be such a hypocrite, Black obviously was a death eater or supporter to be with the dark lord in the first place!" he took a few deep breaths, tears welling in his eyes. "She turned her back on me, years of friendship and I only made one mistake...I called her a mudblood." he sobbed into his hands, Harry was in to much shock to react, he never knew the man could cry. "...James Potter was a horrible boy in school, him and his group set their sights on me the first time they saw me on the train. I was frustrated and humiliated, she couldn't understand that it was a mistake!" he was shaking. "I loved Lily..." he looked at Harry hopelessly. "Why did she choose that prat James? She hated the dark lord and death eaters so much that she turned her back on me forever just over one word...why..why did she agree to give birth to you!...I begged the dark lord to let her live when I told Pettigrew where they where..." Harry normally would have blown up in a fit of rage, would have reacted like he'd done when he believed Sirius got the Potter's killed, but he could see that it effected the man horribly with the decision he made in telling Peter. "If he knew, that you were his son..why did he kill her? Why did he think you were the child from the prophecy?"

"...Lily believed that Dumbledore had Trelawney make up a fake prophecy, she said it was to much of a coincidence that the prophecy was about the time I was going to be born. She thought..maybe Dumbledore knew that James wasn't my father, that he might have known something was going on, she and Sirius seemed to be under the impression he could get into their heads...so I guess that would be how he'd find out anything if Sirius and Voldemort were together, Sirius even had his memories erased or at least blocked to stop Dumbledore from reading his mind, Lily said she knew how to keep both Voldemort and Dumbledore out of her head. I am getting sick of everyone flinching when I say his name!" Harry glared at Severus. "It is only a name and he's already back."

"...Both Dumbledore and the dark lord like to get into peoples heads..." Severus gritted his teeth. "If what you are saying is true...then I know why Black has been reported missing to Order members, he probably went back to the dark lord before Dumbledore could see him again."

"So...he did go back to him." Harry thought for a moment, his mind was finally, at least for the time being, back to being less chaotic. "How can you stop someone from reading your mind? Is there any way to tell if someone has tried?" Harry was worried now, he had been around Dumbledore for the trial after all.

"First of all, it is called Legilimency, and you would know when it happens...trust me. They invade your mind looking for the information they want against your will." Severus sighed. "Sometimes you will see memories from your past or see something they are looking at or feeling at the moment. To stop it you will need to be trained in Occlumency, have you had any visions of things? Felt like there was a odd sensation in your brain?" he watched Harry sort through his thoughts, Harry began to realize the pain of his scar whenever the dark lord was around or involved,his weird dreams, and the vision he saw of Dudley being tortured, he mentioned those occasions to Severus. " ...It appears that you have a mental connection with the dark lord, weather its because of your scar or your blood relation to him...either way." he stood. "Under the guise of detention, starting tomorrow. I will teach you Occlumency, for the time being...stay away from the head master, and try not to think about anything the dark lord won't like." he paused. "Then you will need to decide which side you are on boy, will you join your mother and your father? Or will you stay on the side with your friends and a man who might possibly have set your father up to kill your other parents? Give it a lot of thought Potter, one option will get you killed for sure. Now leave my room, I wish to go back to sleep, and you don't want that insufferable Umbridge woman to see you."

Harry had wanted to ask the man why he'd kissed him back in the library, but he knew that in away both of them had decided to not talk about it again to each other or anyone else. He did however feel closer to the man, he liked this side of him instead of the mean and strict side. He was feeling better now that he got his parentage off his chest, but now he had another new issue about choosing sides. Voldemort was evil, he was a murderer, but apparently Dumbledore was manipulative and caused the murders of the Potter's and almost his murder by his fathers hand. "Have a good night..." he put his invisibility cloak back around himself, leaving the room. He whispered the password to the fat lady, she was to sleepy to notice there was no one in front of the door, and she opened. Once back in the 5th year boys room, he climbed into bed and fell asleep.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I hold a lot of deep hatred for Lily for what she did to Snape o.o I could rant for days of what a bitch she was LOL Now that I have uploaded chapter 5, here is chapter 6! As an asexual female, I am constantly questioning if my sex scenes are good or not, the part was cut in this version go see my AFF version.

Harry awoke the next morning, his head was still reeling over what Snape had told him, Lily was his friend and turned against him for just one mistake? What did they really say about friendship? He didn't know how long they had been friends, but it was before she was with James, so it had to have been a long time. It was what he was doing wasn't it? Thinking about turning on his friends over his fathers identity? No, he wasn't the same, Ron and Hermione were acting weird, and they couldn't possibly know who his parents are, Dumbledore wouldn't risk it. He was in his right to not trust them, to be angry with them for how they treated him.

Placing his hands to his face, Harry took in a couple deep breaths, and climbed out of bed. The black haired fifteen year old walked to the great hall for breakfast, glancing over at the teachers table. Snape looked more annoyed than normal, Umbridge looked smug, and Dumbledore was no where to be seen. 'Not good...' Harry thought to himself, even if he was glad Dumbledore was missing, seeing Umbridge look so happy was unsettling. Eating at the table, he saw that Hermione and Ron looked very concerned, they had already been forced to have to sit away from each other. Umbridge walked up to the headmaster's pedestal, coughed into her hand, and placed her wand under her neck.

"Attention Hogwarts students!" The frog like woman called, using a spell to make her voice louder. "As of this moment, I, Dolores Umbridge, am your new headmistress." the hall erupted in gasp and whispers. "Silence!" she shrieked, she then went on to say that if anyone was caught breaking the school rules, that Dumbledore was no longer there to protect them, that the man had abandoned them, that they would be expelled immediately. She ended her speech, smiling, and returned to sit with the other teachers, saying low for them to hear her. "You lot better be on your utmost behavior and teachings, or you all will be looking for a new job." the professors all wished that the woman would just croak like the frog she looked like.

'Detention' time came around later that night, Umbridge believing Snape hated Harry felt no need to spy on them. In Severus' office it was sound proof, so no one heard Harry's screams, or Snape telling the boy it was alright, that the Dursley's were never going to touch him again. The man had accidentally entered Harry's memory of that day, he pulled Harry into his arms and tried to calm him down. "It's alright Potter...calm down, do you want to stop?"

Shaking and breathing in fast, his eyes filled with tears, Harry shook his head. "No, lets continue, I'm alright...I just have to remember their dead...I want this done with." there was a small bit of white hair coming from Harry's roots in the middle of his hairline, Severus noticed, but continued the training. Harry tried to keep Snape out of his head, struggled to keep him from seeing all his memories, memories of the Dursley's other abuse from before the rape, Dudley's friends bullying him, and his fantasies about the older man. The boy failed every time, it went on for hours, before both were to exhausted to continue.

"...We will try again tomorrow." Severus leaned back against his office desk, his shoulders slumping. "You were showing improvement in the last moment, I believe you will be to do it soon. You should head back to your room, detention can only last so long before that woman will come to see if you have returned to your room."

"Sir, about the stuff you saw I..." Harry's face was red.

"What happened at the house Potter...it." The man pinched the bridge of his nose. "It was bad judgment on my part, it can not happen again."

"Because of who my parents are? Because I am a student? Or because I am male?" Harry's green eyes stared into Severus' black ones.

With a groan Severus stood up straight. "Because you are a fifteen year old student, because you were abused and are misunderstanding your feelings for me as an outlet to ease your pain. Your hormones are out of sorts, you don't want me, it is just that I was the only one you felt you could turn to about your issues."

"...You kissed me back." Harry moved closer to the man.

"As I said...it was bad judgment." Severus moved around his desk to keep away from Harry.

Harry stopped, then looked away. "Fine, it was bad judgment and an act of a fucked up little boy. I will see you tomorrow for more practice. Thank you professor and have a good night." he walked quickly out of the office and back to the Gryffindor common room.

Severus punched the top of his desk, trying to keep the images he saw him Harry's mind out of his own, he looked at his bleeding fist. He was angry because of how the boy had been raised, he was angry that he had sexual feelings for the boy, and he knew he'd just made the boy more depressed by turning him down. "He is only fifteen years old...you are a thirty-five year old...get it out of your head..." he mumbled to himself, before going back to his own room to drink his troubles away.

Umbridge had left Harry alone for the most part, since Harry had declined to join Dumbledore's army, which was headed by Hermione, she had no reason to bother him. The woman was however harassing everyone else, Harry's depressed and anti-social state had also made her happy, she had no need to do anything to him. Every day Harry was with Snape for 'detention', Umbridge had come to see what Snape's detention was like, which luckily was right when they were taking a break; Snape had set up an alarm just in case of such a situation. From what she could tell, Snape had Harry manually cleaning all the cauldron's from all the classes, and Harry looked exhausted. She left and never checked in on them after that, being satisfied with the punishment being given, though she had no idea what Harry had done.

During winter break, while Ron and Hermione left to be with Ron's family, Harry had finally mastered Occlumency with Snape. He hadn't been invited to go with Ron and Hermione, not that he would have gone anyway, because they had officially ended their friendships. The white streak of hair was now longer, in the middle of his hairline and going to the right side of his head. Severus had grown attached, against his will, to Harry during their time together; he refused to tell the boy that. Harry was only able to open up with Snape about his problems, it annoyed Snape at first, but now he expected the late night knocks on his door; if it stopped the boy from going into a mental break down, he wasn't going to turn him away.

Then Christmas happened, both of them were in Severus' room, Harry having stopped by because he didn't want to be alone nor did he want to be with his classmates that had also stayed behind for the break. Since Harry had seemed to get over his crush on him, the man had let his guard down, he let Harry drink some of his whiskey with him to celebrate the holiday that neither of them had family to spend with. One glass turned into one bottle, one bottle into two, and soon both had become completely drunk. Severus should have know better, he should have stopped when he was still sober enough to make good judgments.

Harry had climbed onto his lap, Severus watching him cautiously. "What are you doing Potter." his eyes were starting to close slightly, they popped back open when he felt soft lips against his neck. "I told you, we can't do this sort of thing boy..." he tried to push the boy off, but his body was responding differently than his brain, the boy sitting on him and kissing his neck was enough to get him worked up; it didn't help that he was a virgin still and his body was getting sick of being one. In Severus' moment of drunken hormonal weakness, he was unable to stop what was happening.

Severus moved his hands down Harry's sides, moving them to the boys hips, he'd seen enough wizard porn and had masturbated to know sort of what to do. Harry kissed Severus on the lips, he had also seen wizarding porn, Seamus had a few in their room that he kept hidden, he moved his tongue into the older mans mouth, rocking his hips through their robes against the man's lap. Snape flipped Harry onto his back on the couch moving over him, he kissed back rubbing his own tongue against Harry's. Their clothes were off in a matter of minutes, their hearts pounding in their chest, their heads fuzzy from the alcohol.

(part removed)

Breathing heavily, they separated, they also started to sober up. "Oh Merlin, what have I done..." Severus stood up and began to pace now that he'd come back to his senses. He looked at Harry, the boy was laying on his couch, covered in sweat and cum, he watched Harry's chest move up and down with each breath; Harry had passed out from the sex and the alcohol. "Bloody hell..." instead of waking Harry up and making him take a shower and leave, which was Snape's first train of thought, Severus used a spell to clean him up and covered him with a sheet. "I am going to Azkaban...or his parents will kill me first..." Severus went to his bed, he knew he'd have a major hangover in the morning, and he wasn't going to take anything to stop it, he felt he deserved it.

In the morning Severus felt a body climb into the bed with him, he tried hard to pretend he was still asleep. His head was throbbing from the hangover, he was ashamed of what he'd done to an underage boy and a student. He couldn't help his body reacting to the arm that wrapped around him over his stomach or the head resting against his arm, it felt strange having someone else in his bed, and he felt guilty that it wasn't unpleasant. They laid there together, neither one daring to move, after all, both of them had drank the same amount of alcohol and had hangovers. Finally, Harry spoke up. "...Are you mad?"

"Mad in the sense of being insane, probably..." Severus sighed. "It would be a good idea to keep what happened to ourselves, it would be dangerous if anyone else found out."

"...Do you want me to leave?" Harry questioned, slowly starting to move his arm away from Severus, his face turned bright red when the older man let out a defeated groan, and put his own arm around Harry. With a small smile of victory, Harry moved closer to Severus.

"...Brat..."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Thank you guys for the follows,reviews and favorites {*.*} I love reading reviews and they fuel my creative spirit, reviews let me know what you guys like about my story and make me work faster on writing new chapters, my stories chapters are almost always uploaded the second their finished.

Severus had a dream before Harry had climbed into bed with him, well it was more of a memory really, about when he was a child. Having seen inside Harry's mind of the boys abuse by the Dursley's had made him think back on his own abuse, his muggle father beating his mother in front of him for being a freak and making his son a freak. The screaming, the glass breaking, his father beating him, and the eventual death of his mother by his fathers hands; which led to his father going to jail and death behind bars when he was seventeen. Severus blamed his mother at first for not protecting him, it then turned into him blaming himself, he wished he'd told someone about what was happening, wished that he'd been the one to kill his father before the man had murdered his mother. What use was it to be a wizard if you weren't able to use magic to protect yourself or those you love without the fear of being expelled or sent to Azkaban?

"You better go Potter..." Severus began to removed the arm he had around the boy. "If Umbridge sees you leaving my room this early in the morning, it would get us both into at great deal of trouble." Harry moved away, his hand going to his head. "...I will get the hangover potion.." Severus grabbed his robe from the floor where he'd left it when he woke up the morning before, pulling it on, he wasn't comfortable being nude around Harry.

"We shagged, you didn't need to get dressed like that..." Harry rubbed his hand into his own hair, the sheets were off him as he sat naked on the man's bed.

"Yes, but when we did, we were both piss drunk." Severus went to his potions cabinet.

"...I take it we won't be doing it again huh?" The boy stood and walked over to his clothes by the couch.

Severus groaned, grabbing two potion vials. "Look, I am twenty years older than you, I am old enough to be your..." he didn't really know how to phrase it, Sirius was his age and Harry's mother, and Voldemort was in his sixties. "...Parent..." the man walked over to the still nude boy, handing him one of the vials, drinking his own. "What do you honestly see in me? I'm a grumpy old man who has been an right bastard to you because you happened to look like the bully I went to school with, though now that I've spent more time with you I can only see a little of him in you..."

Harry drank the vial, pulling up his underwear. "That isn't the man I have been serving fake detention with, or the man who comforted me when I told him about my assault." he let out a sigh. "and thirty-five isn't old...look at the age difference between my parents. I might be fifteen, but I was forced to grow up by my surroundings. I was confused and conflicted at first yea, I can have fifteen year old moments...but I am not confused anymore, at least not about you...the whole parentage thing is still effecting me..."

"...Having a father that has tried to kill you more than once can have that effect on you..." Severus leaned on his wall in thought. "Do you want to escape?" he watched Harry, the boy pulling up his pants.

"Escape?"

The older man, walked to his closet. "Yes, if Dumbledore does know who your parents are, it would be best for you to be with your parents now while he's in hiding than trying to do it later."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Harry sounded hurt.

Rolling his eyes, Severus began to get dressed. "I would be leaving with you, it would be safer that way." he paused. "Though if the dark lord and your mother find out what I did, I suppose I won't live very long." he glanced over his shoulder at Harry. "But it gets both of us away from that toad woman, her rules are getting more ridiculous each day." he felt Harry come up behind him and hug him, the boy was still shirtless, and Severus was only wearing underwear and a shirt.

"I won't let them kill you..." Harry mumbled against his back.

"Then hurry up and get dressed." Severus continued to dress himself and once both of them had finished, he held his hand out to Harry. "Give me your wand." once it was in his hand, Severus touched it with his own muttering a spell that lit the boys wand up, a small puff of smoke went into the air from it, and he handed it back. "There, no more underage tracking spell." he went into one of his draws and pulled out a bag, tossing it to Harry. "Use the shrinking spell you learned in charms class, this bag is bottomless, gather everything you have and wait under your invisibility cloak for me by the forbidden forest." Harry left to gather his things, Severus packing his own belongings into another bag.

It was noon by the time Severus went to the forbidden forest, he had avoided Umbridge in the hall because she was to busy with two students. "Professor?" Harry said low beside the man when he'd shown up, he put his invisibility cloak into the bag. "I had to release Hedwig..." he felt his heart twist. "I hope she can find me or stays safe..."

Severus held onto Harry, they had to Apparate to Malfoy manor, the dark lord had been hiding there for the last couple of months. "I am sure she will be fine, if the bird is smart enough." Harry held onto the man as he cast the Apparation spell, it was his first time Apparating and as soon as they were where they were meant to be, he vomited on the ground and his body shook. "Much different than a portkey hm?" they headed for the gate of Malfoy manor.

Staring at the large gates, Harry could see the albino peacocks walking around behind them. "Malfoy's house is much bigger than I imagined it to be..."

"Both of his parents are from rich pureblood families, showing off with their homes as a way to flaunt the money they have..." Severus walked up to the gate and held up his wand, sending up a golden signal flare. The gates opened, two death eaters walking up to the entrance, wands drawn and pointing at them. "Put the wands down, we need to talk to the dark lord."

"You brought Potter here to talk to the dark lord?" the taller of the two asked, mask hiding his face.

Severus rolled his eyes. "He's switching sides, the dark lord wouldn't want us to stand out here forever. The order might have someone watching this house, which would be very bad." his voice giving off a serious tone.

Harry was starting to get second thoughts, but it was too late, he was going to see his father, and there was no turning back. Flashes from the years before entered his mind, Quirrell,the chamber of secrets, and the death of Cedric; was he walking to his death? He followed Severus and the two death eaters up the path to the manor, the Malfoy's land was beautiful, it was taking his mind off the more stressful thoughts. Without actually taking his hand, Severus lightly taped the side of his own hand to Harry's as they entered the mansion.

Draco stood on the stairs, his eyes widening when he saw Harry in his home. "Potter? What are you doing here." he stressed the word 'you' with a sneer.

"We have business that doesn't involve snarky little boys to attend Malfoy." Snape didn't want any of Draco's shit, he was probably going to be murdered and the last thing he wanted was not to have spoke up when Draco was being annoying. He ignored the shocked look on Draco's face or that the boys jaw had slacked, if it was anyone other than Snape, Draco would have gone into a rant. "Lucius, we need to see him..."

"Follow me..." Lucius was surprised to see Harry as well, but tried not to say anything, he could tell by the looks on both Harry and Severus' faces that it had been a long night for both of them.

They were lead to the back of the house to the library, Lucius opening up a secret doorway to some stairs. "Why is everything either in a library or bathroom..." Harry mused to himself, following Severus down the stairs, Lucius closed the door behind the both of them and returned to where he originally needed to be. "I hope this was the right decision professor..."

"Me too boy, me too..." Severus used Lumos Maxima to light the way down the long spiral staircase. "In one of the better case scenarios, only I am murdered and you get to live."

"...That isn't a good scenario..." Harry frowned.

Both of them reached the bottom of the stairs, walking down a thin hallway, and to a large wooden door. Once the door was open, a large black dog ran at Harry and tackled him licking his face. "Looks like Black did make it here..." Severus moved to go inside the room, Voldemort was sitting in a large velvet and wood chair. "My lord..." Severus knelt and bowed, he wanted to be as submissive as possible in order to live. "I brought the boy because we believed it would be best for him to get away from the school."

The dog ran off into the back room, there were noises of things being flung around, Sirius coming back out as a human and dressed. "I see Harry told you then?"

"...Yes...school isn't at the best state right now, with Dumbledore gone the insufferable toad is ruining the school, but it was the perfect time to get him out of the school without Dumbledore around." Severus stared at the ground.

Voldemort was staring at Harry with narrowed suspicious eyes. "What is your motive for coming here boy? Did you come to die or try to kill me?"

"Seeing as you are letting Sirius live here with you, it looks like you forgave him for whatever it was you thought he did." Harry saw Sirius shift uncomfortably about the subject that was about to be brought up. "You are my father, I want to be on your side with...my mother, I want a family. I thought the Weasley's were good enough, but the second me and Ron stopped being friends his family took his side because he was blood." he balled his fist at his sides. " had tried to talk me into making up with Ron, but she like the other order members would probably not understand whats going on with me right now..."

"So, without knowing if your friends would really turn their backs on you because you are apparently my child," Voldemort could see his old features in the boy. "You decided to do what you feared they thought you would do, turn traitor to be with your real family instead of choosing to continue on their side?"

Harry paled, glancing at Sirius, then at Severus. "...When it is put that way..." he put his hands to his face. "Oh god...what am I doing..."

Sirius quickly moved over to Harry pulling him into a hug. "...I was an order member Harry, you made the right choice. Dumbledore told them to keep an eye on you, what made me leave so fast after you brought my memory back was that he didn't tell me...Remus was the one who let me know what was going on, I feared Dumbledore knew I had my memories back and fled."

"It's true boy, I was told to watch you closely for any abnormal activities since you said the dark lord was back." Severus didn't dare look at Voldemort.

Closing his eyes tightly, Harry hugged Sirius back. "But would my friends and the rest of the Weasley's honestly have looked at my any differently? If I didn't do this?"

"No time for second thoughts, you made your choice, you will see how it plays out." Voldemort stood. "I took care of those muggles for you, did any of your friends? They knew what was happening according to Sirius, but did the Weasley's fight for you to live with them?" he walked closer. "Dumbledore put you in a home of known wizard hating muggles, even if he did really believe Lily Potter was your mother, there were other wizarding families that you would have been safe with when I would have come to kill you." glancing over at Severus he frowned. "Now, Severus, why on earth are you hiding your thoughts from me? Hmm?"

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Sirius has been with Voldemort for four months, he's had time to talk him out of instantly killing Harry, also because of Sirius telling him the prophecy was fake, Nagini didn't attack . For Voldemort and Sirius' past, please look up "Harry's true parents." on AFF, it tells how they got together and what led Voldemort to trying to kill Harry and killing the Potters; as it is an older story that I have no interest in rewriting, there are spelling and grammar mistakes. The only difference with this story and the one on AFF is I cut out the whole actual sex scene, as the M rating = R and not NC-17 which is what MA stands for and isn't allowed on FF.

"Now, Severus, why on earth are you hiding your thoughts from me? Hmm?" The dark lords words had frozen both Harry and Severus, both of them had expected a little bit more time before the dark lord would try to get into their heads, they'd hoped to hide that they were blocking certain thoughts from the snake faced man. Before Severus had the chance to defend himself, to make up a reason or try to talk his way out of it, and before Harry could react. "Crucio!" Voldemort yelled, his wand pointing at Severus, the black haired man falling onto his back screaming and twisting around on the ground.

"No!" Harry screamed, pulling away from Sirius. "Stop it release him! Please! He's not hiding anything you need to care about! Don't kill him!"

Voldemort turned to Harry, keeping his wand pointed at the screaming man on the floor. "If that is true, he shouldn't be trying to hide it anyway." he stared at Harry, the boy letting his father into his mind, hoping it would stop Severus' pain and not get him killed. A few minutes passed, Voldemort had seen enough, and released Severus; Harry ran over to him and knelt to make sure he was alright. The dark lord started to laugh, loudly, disturbing those in the room, his face then turned twisted. "If I could kill those muggles again I would..." he looked down at Severus as he walked over to the man, Severus' eyes filled with fear and tears. "You brought this on yourself, you didn't need to hide that you shagged a fifteen year old boy. I won't kill you, I need you to do work for me still, not that you will be of any use with the order anymore...we had to get someone else for your job."

"Wait, shagged a fifteen year old..." Sirius' eyes went wide and he lunged at Severus. "Snivillus! How dare you touch Harry!" he was quickly pulled back by Voldemort. "Let go of me I will kill him with my bare hands!"

"It was the boy who seduced him, Severus tried to push the boy away." the dark lord sighed.

"Stop calling him the boy! I keep telling you he is your son!" Sirius snapped, glaring, still trying to attack Severus.

Holding onto Sirius tighter, enough to make Sirius flinch from pain, Voldemort watched as Harry sat beside Severus on the floor. "...I can see the resemblance... I may have went a bit over board with my paranoia in the past."

Sirius slapped Voldemort across the face. "A bit! You killed Lily!" he screamed as Voldemort grabbed him roughly by the hair. "I'm sorry for slapping you..."

Harry shook, watching Sirius and Voldemort with wide eyes, he knew Voldemort was insane, what had possessed him to ignore that. He groaned and put a hand to his scar as it began to sting, his head feeling like it was spinning, and then it was gone. Once the pain had passed, Harry resolved to stay with the Dark Lord rather than people who kept things from him; he still didn't know how much they actually were keeping from him. Yes the man was mad, a murderer, and had done horrible things; but he was his father. Severus noticed the dazed expression that came over Harry's face, it was only a moment, but it was like Harry was in a trance. "You alright now sir?" Harry helped the older man stand up.

Pushing Sirius away, the other man falling to the ground, Voldemort walked back to his chair and sat down. "Sirius, stop being a little hypocrite, you were fifteen the first time you kissed me and we began our 'relationship'. I was even older than Severus." he leaned back in his chair. "I also have told you repetitively, mind your tongue, never lay your hand on me, or you would regret it." a smirk came across his pale face. "If we weren't having a family reunion right now, I would have punished you a bit more."

"But we didn't have sex till I was nineteen!" Sirius' eye twitched, he sat on the floor staring at it, like his cousin Bellatrix, no matter the abuse and belittling, he still loved Voldemort.

"How could the two of you have possibly had me?" Harry took in a deep breath. "Do you even understand what love is? You just pulled his hair then threw him to the ground!" he thrust an arm at Sirius as he yelled.

Voldemort laughed, tapping his nails against the arms of the chair. "Love? Foolish boy, it was sexual attraction, nothing more." the war wasn't won yet, he had to keep his cold side on the surface, just like he'd done in the past; Sirius knew this, they'd discussed it while they were alone, but it didn't make the words hurt less. He was to be feared, a heartless ruler, no one could know that he had such a weak emotion like love. "Don't give me that look child. While you are here, you will be living in the shadows, none of my followers can know you are Harry Potter, those who already have seen you will be dealt with. It's the same with Sirius, they just think I have a large black pet dog."

Severus was still in pain, he was staying quiet the whole time, but now he felt he could actually talk; he had to stop Harry from saying something else. "My lord, where will Potter be staying?" he already had his own room in the manor, Lucius was his friend, and let him stay whenever he wished to. "It would be bad if Lestrange sees him..." he knew that Bellatrix would ask questions later and attack Harry, the death eaters only knew Harry from photos in the papers and his scar. With how Harry's glamor was fading away, only his scar would let on who he was, and the death eaters who'd seen him saw the scar when they had arrived.

"The two of you have already shared a bed, he will be staying in your room with you." Voldemort crossed one of his legs over the other. "When you do go up, have Lucius gather those who are here today that saw..." he had been about to say 'the boy' again, but the glare Sirius was giving him made him roll his eyes. "...Harry.. and send them down here. As for hiding his identity from Bella and those more...enthusiastic...of my followers, Harry will just have to hide his scar with his hair and will be referred to as-" Voldemort was cut off.

"He will be referred to as Harry Riddle." Sirius watched Voldemort's face twist.

"No, he will not." The dark lord hissed, not all of his followers knew his last name, but the older crew did. "We want to keep his relation with us low-key Sirius. Around the others you will be known as Porter Hadler, the Malfoy's will know who you are, but when you are around anyone else, only answer to that name."

Harry groaned, he didn't want to have to use a cover name. He wondered when Umbridge would report him and Severus missing from school, it would look bad for her if she waited to long, but it would also look bad that she hadn't been able to stop them from leaving. Harry knew that the Aurors and the Order would go on a mass man hunt for Severus, they would also be searching for him everywhere. If it was some how leaked that they'd both gone together willingly to the Dark Lord, it would be all over the Daily Prophet in minutes; being thought to be just missing was better than them knowing where he was.

Glancing at Harry, Severus bowed to Voldemort once more, before grabbing Harry by the arm. "Bye Sirius..." Harry said as he was pulled by his ex-professor. Sirius giving a small wave and a smile, the door shutting behind them. Behind the door Sirius walked back into the bedroom he shared with Voldemort the last four months, only the Malfoy's were trusted enough to know he was there. "Sir...you are hurting my arm..." Harry winched as he was pulled up the stairs.

"If we don't hurry we won't make it without being seen, I am sure Lucius is keeping the others distracted right now, but he won't be able to for much longer." Severus reached the top of the stairs and looked back at Harry. "I also have to talk to you in complete privacy..." the two of them exited the hidden stairwell, Severus taking Harry up to the room he usually stayed at in the manor; Draco was standing in the hall waiting for Severus to come up and ask him why Harry was there. "Not now Malfoy..." he pulled Harry into the room, Draco standing shocked at being pushed aside, he always thought Snape liked him as a student and the child of his friend.

Watching Severus put up a silencing spell, Harry sat down on the bed. "Are you sure you are alright? I'm sorry that I wasn't able to stop..." Harry blinked, Severus was very close to his face now, staring into Harry's eyes. "Um...is something wrong?"

Severus sighed, it was probably just his pain filled mind playing tricks on him earlier. "...Its nothing, I must have imagined it." he sat down beside Harry, putting his hands to his face. "All in all, this meeting went better than I expected it to..." laying back he looked up at the ceiling of the room. "...Thank you for stopping him from killing me..." Harry leaned over the man, kissing him lightly, Severus kissing him back.

Over the next two weeks, Voldemort had erased the memories of the death eaters who saw Harry, Severus had placed a concealment patch over Harry's scar; Harry's bangs not being long enough to hide his scar. Umbridge had reported Harry and Severus missing two days after they'd run away, she and the Ministry went into damage control, Mcgonagall being given the head mistress position; the Ministry was still denying Harry's original claims of the Dark Lord's return. The Order was on high alert, their members looking everywhere for the two of them, confused as to why Severus would kidnap Harry.

There was a raid on the Malfoy's mansion, at the time Severus and Harry, along with anything damning, were hidden down with Voldemort and Sirius. Remus had tipped Sirius off about the raid, he'd become the new mole, his only request was that he was allowed to kill Fenrir; Sirius was his best friend, he wasn't going to turn his back on him and Sirius had made it clear he still thought of him as his friend too. As part of his act, Remus continued to beg the Order to keep looking for Sirius, saying that Snape could have done something to him just like with Harry; with Severus gone, it became more believable than Sirius just running away for no reason.

Harry was at the Malfoy's indoor swimming pool, it was one of the only places only he and Severus were allowed to go that others weren't; Bellatrix was allowed as well, but she wasn't to fond of swimming. Draco had been back at school, Lucius was mostly working and fighting with his coworkers for not having sufficient reason to have raided his home, and Narcissa was working at a wizarding law firm; that had been a shock to Harry. Moving through the water, Harry looked up at the large beautiful moving painting on the ceiling, it was of a forest, deers and other animals running around in a circle that they knew at their world. Severus was busy doing work for Voldemort, but they had gotten closer; the man now called him Harry when they were alone, he also let Harry call him Severus.

"I didn't think I would be so bored without school..." Harry started to make waves in the water with his arms, he had talked to Sirius under not so much stress the day after he'd arrived. "I wonder what the others are doing at school..." he stared at the water. "Do they even care I am gone?" continuing to talk to himself. "They are dating, I was just a third wheel anyway...they ignored me all summer..." he's eyes started to cloud over, he kept repeating the same things he'd been saying since he first found out about Sirius and Voldemort being his parents.

"Harry!"

Harry blinked and looked at Severus, the man was in the water with him, fully clothed, his hands grabbing his arms, and was shaking him. "When did you get here?" Severus pulled Harry close to him. "Severus?"

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Changed Arron to Porter, to have a play on his name Porter Hadler with Harry Potter lol Also, I do try to get most facts right with my stories, one I just found was the reason Voldemort can't love in the canon is because he was conceived while his father had a love spell on him, I don't like this fact, so facts like that I usually omit from my stuff.

"Two hours?!" Harry stared at Severus, a towel wrapped around him; Severus spelling his own clothes dry. He'd lost two hours of time and his skin was turning into a prune, he'd been standing in the shallow end for two hours before Severus came in looking for him. Severus had tried to call Harry out of the pool and get ready to eat, when the boy just stared off in a daze, he knew something was wrong. "I'm going nutters aren't I? All the stress and what happened with the Dursley's has pushed me over the edge, I am going to be committed to ..."

"You won't be put into Mungos...I will have a mediwitch on our side come check you out. Do you remember anything from right before I snapped you out of your trance?" Severus ran his fingers through Harry's longer hair.

Harry placed a hand to his forehead. "My scar hurt, it's normal and happens a lot when I am around my father...I don't pay it a lot of attention. I am sure that its just because he gave it to me it reacts to his magical presence..." he poked at the patch of fake skin Severus' had placed over his scar.

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Severus pulled Harry up. "We have to talk to the Dark Lord, he probably knows whats happening and can stop it." they walked down the hidden stairwell to Voldemort's living area, Harry still wearing his swimming shorts. "My Lord...Harry has something wrong with him, I believe whatever you did that caused the scar on his head is the cause, he claims it hurts and then he zones out. Can you think of what it might be?" he released Harry's arm.

Voldemort twirled his wand between his fingers in thought, he rose from his chair and walked over to Harry. "Let us see what could be causing that hmm?" he pealed the patch from Harry's scar, trailing a finger over it, he paused. "I see what happened..." shrill laughter erupted from the man. "It seems killing the Potter's left you with something unexpected..." he pressed on the scar. "It would be bad to leave things as they are, it has already done permanent effects."

"What is it?" Harry stared at his fathers amused face.

"A Horcrux." The Dark Lord ignored Severus and Sirius' shocked reactions. "I will have to extract it from you, it is the only way to remove it."

"What is a Horcrux?" Harry was confused, he'd never heard of such a thing, but he could tell Sirius and Severus had.

Voldemort pressed his wand to Harry's scar. "Nothing you need to worry about, that is something you are better not knowing much about. Good news is you will hopefully be less paranoid and the black outs will stop, what it will do to your personality as a whole by doing this...that I can't predict. This is probably going to hurt..." the Dark Lord knew the effects his Horcrux had on people, they were pieces of his soul and his personality. The paranoia, jealousy,rage, and bringing the darkness in the effected to the top. It had started to effect Harry back in his third year, the rage that had caused him to blow up aunt Marge, the stronger paranoia,despair,and jealousy rearing their ugly heads that summer after Cedric's death and the rape; it really didn't help that Ron was made Prefect and Dumbledore's coldness to him.

Harry's eyes went wide and glossed over as the spell was cast, he let out an ear piercing screech, the baby Horcrux that had twisted with his own soul desperately trying to stay where it was. The boy fell backwards, throwing his hands to his head, tears pouring from the corners of his eyes. Sirius and Severus wanted to run to Harry's side, but Voldemort held his free hand up, a long green cloud pulling from Harry's scar and into Voldemort's chest. Voldemort hissed in pain as the piece of soul that he was able to extract went back together with the bit he had left inside him, which wasn't much as he'd shredded it into seven pieces.

The Dark Lord fell onto one knee breathing heavily, he watched his son pass out from the pain he'd suffered during the extraction. "Severus, now would be a good time to take Harry back to your room. I am not sure what state he will be in when he wakes up and I do not want him reverting back into wanting to kill me, which would then lead me to try and kill him, and lead Sirius and you to try to attack me. I am not in the mood for that kind of activity right now." he was shaking as he stood, walking to the back room with his hand to his chest.

It wasn't till the next morning that Harry woke up, he groaned and opened his eyes; Severus was sleeping beside him, his arm around him. The extraction had worked, Harry felt much better, it felt like a large weight had been lifted. He was no longer repeating the same things over and over again in his head, the grudges he'd been holding onto were still there, but they were no longer over powering his mind. Harry turned to his side, looking at Severus' sleeping face, he smiled; he was feeling much happier now that the voice in his head was gone. "Severus?" he leaned forward and kissed the sleeping man.

"Mn..." Severus slowly opened his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, much better actually." Harry sat up on the bed. "I'm hungry, I think I'm going to head to the kitchen." he had lost weight the last couple of months, his appetite hadn't been good, and he was finally getting it back. Severus watched Harry change his clothes, the boy running to the bathroom before leaving the room completely. Harry walked out into the hallway, it was the first time he'd been awake so early in the morning since going to the manor; he mostly woke up in the afternoon. It was because of his sleeping habits that he hadn't run into Bellatrix or any of the other Death eaters, they mostly came in the morning before they had to go to work, and late at night when Harry was either in the library or in Severus' room.

Luck wasn't on his side this time, Bellatrix was downstairs, she looked at him. "Who are you?" she'd never seen him before and he was Draco's age, so it was suspicious that he wasn't in school. Harry paled, he'd heard stories about her from Severus and Sirius, it was his first time actually meeting the woman in person. "Well? Why are you in my sisters home!" she pointed her wand at him.

Harry put his hands up defensively, not daring to reach for his own wand. "My name is Porter Hadler...I am a guest of Severus Snape..."

"Severus' guest?" The mad woman eyed Harry, lowering her wand. "Why does Severus have an underage boy away from school staying here?" she waved a hand to dismiss that question. "Never mind, it is better I not know about that mans perversions." she sneered at Harry and walked to find her sister. Harry found her a bit intimidating, he was glad that she hadn't seemed as crazed as what he'd been told about her; though he knew she was a sadistic woman from what he learned she did to Neville's parents.

Harry walked to the kitchen, house elves and a couple wizard servants were busy working on breakfast for the house, Harry had expressed to them the second day he was there that he could make his own food; he still didn't like the idea of people waiting on him. He did still have mixed feelings about house elves, he knew they liked to serve and let them do a couple things for him, but he never asked them; he was just mostly happy they weren't like Dobby, even with being employed by the same family and being treated the same.

The Malfoy's knowing that Harry was Harry, didn't want him eating in their dining room, he had to eat his meals in the kitchen. It seemed like time was going much slower now that his mind wasn't full of the same repetitive thoughts, he found himself more bored than he was before; it didn't help that wizards didn't have televisions in their homes. He felt a tug on his pant leg when he was on his way to the library to listen to the radio while reading, looking down he saw a house elf standing beside a large box. "Master's friend had a guest bring this for you..." was all the small elf said, before she vanished.

Opening the box Harry's eyes lit up, inside was a Gameboy and thirty randomly picked video games; Harry had seen Dudley play with one in the past and had always wanted one. Severus watched from one of the halls, he couldn't leave the manor himself, but had a death eater go around asking muggles, which the death eater did reluctantly, what fifteen year old muggle boys would like for entertainment. It resulted in the game store clerks being Stupefied, then Gameboy and the games being stolen; it wasn't like the death eater had muggle money. Harry took the box to his and Severus' room, he spent the rest of the day playing games while the war meetings were going on.

A few hours went by, Severus opened the door and closed it behind him, walking to the bed he sat beside Harry. "A decision has been made, we're going to be moving to another one of the Malfoy's mansions." Harry's eye twitched, the Malfoy's had more than one mansion? "It is hidden from the Ministry and with this one being under their radar, it is best to move the hide out location." he watched Harry place the Gameboy on the side table. "It isn't just going to be us moving, the Malfoy's and the other death eater's families are going to be coming too, that includes their children leaving school." he pushed Harry back onto the bed. "We might not get much privacy..."

(Scene cut)

Laying on his stomach Harry glanced at Severus, the man way laying beside him, he watch the older mans chest moving with each breath. "How long before we have to move?" his heart was pounding in his chest, both of them were covered in sweat. "I think we need to take a shower."

"Mm..yea...probably a good idea..." Severus slid off the bed, before Harry could move himself off the bed, he found himself in Severus' arms. Harry turned bright red, the man was carrying him to the in room bathroom. The both of them took a nice hot bath together, Harry ignored Severus' protest about using different shampoo in his hair, Harry started to scrub the shampoo into the mans hair, leaving Severus to pout. It wasn't like Severus was dirty like he'd been as a child, he just didn't bother cleaning his hair with more expensive shampoo like the Malfoy's had in their home. They both got out of the tub once their hair and bodies were completely clean, Severus' eye twitched when Harry insisted on towel drying his nice clean hair; the shampoo made Severus' hair look much fuller and silky, but the towel drying made the mans hair fluffy. "...I will murder you..."

Harry tried hard to stop his laughing, but failed, he was chased back to the bed room. "We have to get dressed and move! You can't kill me." he smiled, watching Severus sigh defeated and brush his hair. They dressed and went around the room gathering their belongings, placing them into their bags. Sirius and Voldemort had already left with Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius was downstairs waiting for their other guest to finish getting ready and use the secured Floo network to travel, the children from Hogwarts were going to meet their parents at Hogsmead and use a Porkey about half a mile away from the new hideout; where Bellatrix would then take them to the actual location.

It had been Harry and Severus' mistake of using Apparation to go to the Malfoy's that had drew the Ministry to the manor, they'd been a little too close to the school, even though they'd been deep in the forbidden forest and it set off a red flag. Lucius sneered at Harry, he still hated the child for what happened during his second year, he didn't know Severus was in a relationship with him; all he knew was that Severus had brought Harry from Hogwarts because the boy wanted to change sides.

Staring at the fireplace, Harry watched one of the death eaters say the name of where he was going, he hoped he was going to pronounce the name correctly, the last time he used the Floo he ended up in the wrong place. He looked at Severus, swallowing, he knew if Hedwig was looking for him, she wasn't going to find him now. "Wish me luck?" he vanished inside the fireplace, coming back out in a large dark room, a couple people he'd never seen before looking annoyed and impatient.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I know that the bag Hermione had used the undetectable extension charm, but I like just calling bags with the charm used on them bottomless bags because it is never actually stated how much could be fit into a bag with the charm on it; not to mention the whole bigger on the inside thing being like Doctor Who and his Tardis is huge on the inside.

"They sent a kid now?" A man scoffed, sitting on a ratty couch, his brown hair was a mess and his clothes were filthy. Harry's eyes scanned the room, the best his eyes could focus on, there were five other people in the room. A woman with stringy blonde hair and a torn dirty white dress, another woman with her head shaved into a black crew cut and wearing only a black long sleeved shirt that just barley went below her panties, man wearing a suit and greasy red hair, another man with a bald head and dressed in silk pajamas, and finally a man sitting in a corner with his legs pulled to his chest; it was that final man that really scared Harry, he had white hair and was wearing the same clothes Sirius had when he escaped from Azkaban.

"...Where am I?" Harry's eyes started to focus better inside the room, there were no windows and the only door was boarded up, it was just a room with cots and a couch. He did not see the death eater who he followed into the fireplace, he also saw that no one else had followed behind him, and it had already been a few minutes. "What is this place!" he screamed, startling the man in the corner.

The black haired woman scratched at her arm, twitching. "You are where they send the people they don't think they can trust now that the war is starting..." she stepped closer to Harry. "So, who are you? What did a little boy like you do to the Dark Lords followers? What do you know that they want to keep you silent about?" she reached a hand out to him, her nails were black from filth and sharp.

The bald man grabbed the woman's arm hard. "He is just a child, leave him alone. They probably sent him here because he is a family member to someone the Dark Lord wants to control." he looked at Harry. "Am I right boy?"

"Y..yea..." Harry wished he'd pocketed some Floo powder. "My uncle works at the Ministry, I was approached by a man who said he worked with him, he said my uncle needed to talk to me...then I ended up here..." Harry had become better at his lies.

"Tch, so he's just a little hostage..." The black haired woman walked over to one of the cots and sat down.

Had he said the wrong place again? No, he knew he said exactly what the death eater had said. "Did a man come here before me? I was following my uncle's coworker..."

With a sigh the blonde woman sat on the couch beside the brown haired man. "Yea, one of the death eaters came to check on us, make sure we were all still here, then he left."

So, it had been a trap, but whose idea was it? Surely Severus would have followed after him with the same name of the place, where was he? Then Harry thought about the last couple of moments before he used the Floo, Lucius had been talking to Severus while Harry was trying to concentrate on the name the death eater had said over and over in his head to make sure he'd pronounced it correctly, he had interrupted their conversation when he asked Severus to wish him luck; Lucius had done this, he distracted Severus so he'd not hear the name correctly. He could feel his anger boiling, he had wanted to get passed his past with the Malfoy's, but this was another mark against the family; he wondered what Severus was doing at that moment.

At the correct location, Lucius found himself slammed into the wall. "Where is he!" Severus screamed at his supposed best friend, he was shaking from the anger he felt upon arriving to not find Harry anywhere in sight. "Lucius! What have you done!" spit hit the blonde man in the face, his eyes were wide, he didn't think Severus would be so upset. The other death eaters in the mansion were watching the fight, Sirius and Voldemort were downstairs; which was lucky for Lucius.

"We should have this conversation in private Severus..." Lucius was released. "Follow me..." taking Severus to his office, he turned to his friend, the door closing behind him. "The boy is a child, he doesn't know what is going on and he would probably decide to go back to his friends the second he saw them fighting on the battle field. I made a judgment call for the benefit of this war going as planned."

Severus stalked toward Lucius punching him in the face. "You better get him back Lucius, before the Dark Lord finds out." he turned his back to Lucius walking out of the room, the blonde man putting a hand to his bloody nose. The other death eaters moved out of Severus' way, he didn't want Lucius to be killed, but if Harry wasn't brought back, Voldemort or Sirius would kill him. Severus stared at the fireplace as more of the Dark Lord's supporters came through, Lucius walking from his office behind him.

Harry walked to the boarded door. "Why is the door boarded from this side? Can't we just break it down and leave?" while his back was turned to the people in the room, he used the darkness of the room to his advantage, slipping his wand into his bag; then placing the bag on the inside of his pants while looping the drawstrings to his belt loop. Harry wasn't going to take any chances of them getting a hold of his belongings, if they were sent by Voldemort's followers as problems to his cause, they probably were dangerous.

"You would think so wouldn't you?" The brown haired man said turning to look at Harry's direction. "Our wands were taken before we were sent here, we have no tools to remove the nails, and we have no idea what is on the other side of that door, there was a scratching noise one night. If we had our wands we'd have lit this place up the moment we got here, this darkness is annoying."

"We should just jump the next guy who comes to check on us, steal his wand, kill him, and get the hell out of here!" Screamed the black haired woman.

Lifting his head up the white haired man laughed. "You think we can just do that so easily? What will we do once we're out of here?" he stood up slowly, using the wall to support himself. "The Dark Lord would send his followers after us, we could try to hide, but they will find us. Hell, I escaped Azkaban and thought I found a place they couldn't get me, look where I am now!"

"They even got to the supposed boy wonder, Harry Potter." The Red haired man rubbed his chin. "They haven't found his body, so he is probably being tortured by the Dark Lord. They were able to snatch him without anyone noticing from Hogwarts!" he shook his head. "I rather stay here till the war is over, we won't have to fight and we won't be considered traitors." he scratched the top of his head. "Though if our side loses, we're going to be pretty screwed, and have to pull those boards down by hand, then face wandlessly, whatever is behind the door."

Harry sat down on one of the cots. "So all of you are death eaters and supporters?"

"...I was..." Sighed the white haired man. "Then to try and save myself I named names, I thought like with the others who had done the same, I could get a deal and not be sent away to Azkaban." he balled his fist. "Apparently I am so simpleminded I was tricked, they didn't charge me on some of my crimes under the Dark Lord, like they promised, but they still got me for smaller crimes."

Crossing one of her legs over the other, the blonde woman spoke next. "I am simply a supporter, but because my husband was killed as a traitor, they couldn't trust me and sent me here."

"I'm here as a hostage like you boy, I was listening in on death eaters who came into my tavern, I figured with the information I was hearing those rich bastards would pay me to keep my mouth shut. Next thing I know I am here." The black haired woman growled.

"Great, we have a black mailing werewolf bartender in here with us, we better get out of here before the next full moon." The brown haired man complained, the black haired woman about to punch him. "I'm just a guy who's sold questionable things to people who wouldn't like their names being mentioned if the Ministry ever came asking."

The bald man and the red haired man refused to talk about their stituations, both agreed that the others were being a little too loose mouthed and deserved to be where they were. For the next hour, Harry watched the people fight with each other verbally, they were also complaining that no one else had come through the fireplace after Harry and that they were getting hungry; apparently there had been food before Harry came, but they had ate it all without thinking they might not get more.

Harry was quickly getting annoyed with the six of them, he wanted Severus to hurry up and get him the hell out of there, take him to where he was meant to be. All of their heads turned to the fireplace as it lit up, Harry stood up quickly. 'Please be here for me, please be here for me...' he thought over and over. A man came out of the flames, his wand pointing at the people in the room, he used a stunning spell on the other six looking at Harry.

"You are Porter Hadler right?" The man said with a gruff voice, Harry nodded. "There was a mistake in sending you here, I was told to retrieve you." he handed Harry some Floo powder, whispering into his ear the correct location. "You will go first, I don't want to lose you." while they were stunned, the people in the room could still hear and see what was going on, they were angry and confused as to why the boy was allowed to leave. Harry didn't give it a second thought, he used the Floo powder and disappeared.

Stumbling out of the second fireplace of the day, Harry looked at the much brighter and cleaner room, Severus was the only one there; the others had things they needed to do to finish preparing for the war. "Severus I-" Harry found himself pulled into a hug by the older man. "...You were that worried? I was only gone for an hour, stuck in a room with idiots."

Slowly releasing Harry, Severus backed up, trying to regain his usual demeanor. "Knowing how Lucius usually deals with problems...Yes I was worried..." he sighed. "It would be best if your parents don't find out about this, Lucius has been my friend for years, and I've already dealt with him myself.."

"I wasn't harmed and it was only for a little over an hour, they don't need to be bothered with that information anyway." Harry smiled. "But for now on, I am not going to bother trying to trust the Malfoy's ever again. So, where is our room?"

The next three days Harry didn't see Severus much, besides when the man came to go to bed, Harry had spent his time playing his Gameboy and waiting for things to calm down a bit more. On the fourth day of being at the second manor, Harry went down to the room Voldemort was staying in with Sirius. His eyes went wide at what he saw once he opened the door, sitting in the chair that was in the middle of the room was Voldemort, but he wasn't the same Dark Lord he'd seen the other day, he had hair and a nose now, and his skin had more color to it.

"What happened? Get sick of looking like a snake?" Harry asked.

With his still red eyes, the Dark Lord glared at Harry. "It would seem that when I removed my Horcrux from your body, I took a piece of you with it, and this is the side effect." he glanced at Sirius. "Your mother seems to like this look and refuses to let me fix this problem. I have to wear a mask now in front of my followers, rather than them see me like this." he felt that they wouldn't be so scared of him now that he looked somewhat human. "This being the case, you might also suffer from some side effect if a piece of it is still inside you that I wasn't able to remove. Now, what brings you down here?"

"I am sick of just sitting around and hiding, Severus had a present given to me that I am enjoying, but he is mostly doing what you want him to and I hardly see him." Harry folded his arms. "I haven't even had the chance to talk to you guys and really get to know you, get to know what we're going to do once the war is over. You guys are my parents, I'm your dirty little secret that no one can know about, at least not now anyway." he wasn't enjoying not being included in the war plans either.

"So you want to be in on the plans that involve killing or enslavement of your friends?" Voldemort raises his newly grown black eyebrow at Harry.

"They aren't my friends anymore, this is my family now and I have picked this side...I want to do something, anything, to show you I am not just a child you sired, that I am your son and heir." Harry watched the smirk come across Voldemort's face.

"Very well, for tomorrows meeting, you will be apart of it and we will announce that Harry Potter is never going to be a problem for our plans." Voldemort stood, walking over to his son, pulling him to him. Harry was a pawn to use against the order members who didn't know Harry was heir of Slytherin, the students who at one point considered Harry a friend or at least a friendly acquaintance. Voldemort was banking on the idea that they would be to distracted by finding out Harry had switched sides to actually attack him, which would leave them open for attack. "You will have to join us now Harry, a trial that will prove to us you are truly on our side will commence during the meeting." he patted Harry on the back, yes, Harry was going to have to prove he had what it took to be a true death eater.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I can't post links to AFF cause FFN doesn't like links, but you guys can go to my Tumblr fearmyboxersharrypotterfanfics or type: "Harry's true self" fearmyboxers , into google. If you just type "Harry's true self" you will see a piece of the original version of the story from like 7 years ago that Pottersues picked on lol To those asking, why is Voldemort using Harry o.o he is Voldemort, an paranoid,power hungry,mad man...As to why Sirius isn't defending Harry more, he was raised to follow Voldemort's ways, he also isn't above Voldemort torturing him if he steps out of line, but he does get more chances than the others as Voldemort does care for him. To the person who wanted me to have Hermione raped and other things, this is a slash fic that I don't feel comfortable putting hetro stuff into it, plus we already had one rape, and another is I already had Fenrir Greyback killed and he's the one I'd have do those things you said to her o.o; there will be a fic of Hermione x Fenrir in the future.

Harry had not seen which students from Hogwarts had come to the house, he had been avoiding accidentally running into them since they came. He knew that obvious Slytherin's had death eater parents he knew about were in the house, as well as supporters children who wanted to become death eaters, even if their parents didn't. The meeting was in a few minutes, where all of the death eaters and the ex-students were going to be gathered together, and he was going to have to do something to prove he was ready to become a death eater; Severus told him that it was probably going to be a murder, that most of those who joined had to kill someone to prove their ability to follow orders.

Pulling his cloaks hood over his head, Harry walked to the main room of the house. Along the walls the death eaters stood, their mask covering their faces, in the middle of the room were twenty teens wearing the same cloak as Harry, waiting for their initiation; Harry stood in the far back. One by one, the teens were called up by name and removed their hoods, various muggles and witches were tied up and presented to the teens to kill; Harry noticed that the witches were people the teens knew somehow, even some were family members that had chosen the wrong side. A few teens struggled with their choices when it came to their family members, they were quickly pulled aside by their parents as failures and were escorted out of the room to be talked to; the family members they failed to kill were thrown into the underground dungeon for another try later.

Then six people were brought up in line for six of the recruits, Harry's eyes widened, they were the six wizards and witches he'd been in the room with; they were placed in that room for this day, they were never going to be released, had Harry been just another kid and not Severus' lover or the Dark Lords child; he would have been one of them. Harry watched as all six of them were killed by the teens, who had no relation to them other than Voldemort wanting to get rid of them, then Harry had the biggest shock. Bellatrix was bound and silenced, her eyes were wild, she was obviously screaming, tears coming from her eyes, she'd been betrayed by her one true love and her family; it didn't help her emotions that Sirius revealed himself to her and rubbed it in her face that he'd had a child with Voldemort, an hour ago.

An even bigger shock came when the name of Bellatrix's executioner was called. 'Neville Longbottom.' Harry stared in disbelief, it really was Neville, he removed his hood and pointed his wand at Bellatrix. "This is for my parents..." he used the Cruciatus curse on the woman, her silent screams ripped through her throat, she fell to her side twisting; this went on for five minutes and would have lasted longer, had Voldemort not ordered Neville to finish it so they could call the next recruit up. Three more went up before it was finally Harry's turn, he was the last one standing in the middle of the room, all the others watching to see who the last person was.

Voldemort smirked behind his mask, Sirius was sitting beside him as a dog, on his other side was Nagini. "Harry...Potter.." there were gasp and whispers of disbelief, they knew Harry had gone missing, they knew there was a rumor he'd been kidnapped by Severus and was possibly dead or being held captive, no one would have ever believed he'd want to be a death eater; they were already shocked by Neville Longbottom joining them. Everyone watched Harry as he removed his hood, he hadn't put his patch over his scar, and he looked at the hooded figure sitting in front of him.

The hood was removed, staring at Harry was Molly Weasley, of course Molly would be his test, the woman was like a mother to him, had been nothing but kind to him; but Harry still had his doubts that she genuinely cared for him or if it was an act. It was strange, even though he was looking at her panicked horrified face, her tears falling, he didn't feel anything for her, except for confusion as to why he didn't care that he had to kill her; Voldemort did tell him that the Horcrux thing would have a side effect to him, maybe that was the cause. Molly seemed to be trying to talk Harry out of it, but like all the others, she was silenced. Lifting his wand Harry looked Molly dead in the eyes, he took a small breath, and... "Avada Kedavra!" the ginger haired woman fell face first to the ground.

It was only after seeing the woman lay dead that Harry felt a twist of regret, but he didn't have much time to think about that, Voldemort stood and walked over to him, laughing. "Those who have passed, line up for the mark..." he roughly grabbed Harry's arm. "There is no turning back, even if you change your mind now, they will never forgive you." he then leaned real close to Harry, hissing in Parseltongue. "You have a choice as my son." both of them heard Nagini hiss her annoyance, Voldemort looked down at Harry's arm. "You can get the mark and live with it forever or we can announce you as my child, that my blood running through you is all that needs to mark you." he and Sirius didn't have the mark, he was talked into making this deal with Harry by Sirius, who didn't want Harry scarred for life; but he wanted to make it out to be his own idea.

Harry was surprised that Voldemort didn't care if anyone knew their relation, he'd Obliviated his followers from knowing he was even there, though, he supposed it was because they all knew he was there now. "If I choose to be revealed as your son, will Sirius be allowed to stop being a dog?" Harry hissed back, ignoring Nagini's laughing.

"Nagini!" The dark lord yelled at the snake, letting out a sigh. "Yes, there would be no need to hide him anymore. Bellatrix is gone, even with how loyal she was to me, she would have done something to him if she'd seen him before, behind my back." the red eyed man released Harry's arm. "What is your decision."

Glancing at Sirius, the black dog watching them, curious as to what they were talking about. "I don't want to hide who I am, I don't want my mother to have to be a dog any longer...I refuse to take the mark and don't want to be known as Harry Potter, the son of Lily and James Potter, but as the child of the Dark Lord...I can't live anymore lies." Harry continued to watch his father.

"Fine..." Voldemort said as he switched back to English, he had hoped Harry would have chosen the mark instead, that it would have been Harry's choice and he wouldn't have to hear Sirius complain about him being an ass. "I won't be giving Harry the dark mark..." the death eaters whispered to each other. "You all are probably wondering why he has decided to join us, why he just killed his best friends mother so willingly." he placed his hands on Harry's shoulders. "He is my son..." his tone of voice showed he was still displeased about revealing that, the room filled with gasps. "I don't need to explain myself, I am your Lord and you lot will not question me...now I will give the mark to your children."

Harry stumbled as he was shoved aside by Voldemort, he walked over to Sirius and sat down beside him on the floor. "He said you don't have to be a dog anymore, but I guess he doesn't want to tell you to change back yet." Sirius wagged his tail as a response, it wasn't like he could change right then anyway, the branding had already been interrupted once. Harry watched the new death eaters as they were marked, a few wanted to show their parents they were strong by not screaming, but the tears that filled their eyes, their faces turning red, and their posture showed that they were in pain; Neville and Draco were two of them. The rest did end up screaming and had their arms squeezed harder by Voldemort, his nails going into their skin.

Walking back to their relatives, those who had them there anyway, the newly marked death eaters held their burning arms. Those who just joined with no family, like Neville, just stood against the wall and held their arms to their chest; they didn't have anyone to comfort them afterward. Neville had not even flinched when he heard Harry's name, he wasn't looking at him like the others; it was like he already knew Harry was there. Harry was curious as to what had brought Neville to join the death eaters, it couldn't have just been to kill Bellatrix, he was going to have to talk to him later; he didn't need to hide anymore.

"With only fifteen of the twenty-one of you passing your trial today, you will be taking classes from tomorrow on." Voldemort heard the groans from the teens, they thought getting out of school meant school was done with. "You need to learn how to fight our way, use spells they wouldn't teach you at that school, and we have teachers here like Severus Snape, to help you with that. If I sent you out as you are now, you get killed or be caught by Aurors in an instant." he waved an arm to Severus, the man standing off to the side with four other death eaters. "These five will be your teachers. You WILL follow their instructions, do you children understand that?"

"Yes my Lord!" The new death eaters cried.

Behind his mask Voldemort smirk twisted. "If you fail me, I will punish you, and don't think your parents will be able to protect you." he turned on his heels, walking to where Sirius,Harry, and Nagini sat. "I made a decision...turn back now Sirius." at the mention of Sirius' name all eyes turned to the dog, watching him transform into a man wearing only a black robe. Lucius was already having a mild panic attack from watching Bellatrix's murder, his wife was only a supporter and had not come into the room, though she was aware that her sister was to die. To make it worse he now learned one of the reasons why Severus had attacked him and his wife's cousin, a man he believed to be an Order member, was standing in the the room and was the dog that his Lord had with him at all times. "You are all dismissed!"

A couple death eaters picked up Voldemort's chair to take it back to his room, Voldemort walking ahead of them. "Well, today has started out exciting, torturing children, revealing you are his son and we're both here." Sirius smiled at Harry. "We do still have one little secret that he didn't reveal, don't we." he pulled Harry into a hug. "At least now we can walk around the whole house together and see each other more." pulling away he put his arms behind his head. "I think I'm going to take a walk around this place." Sirius walked off into the mansion, not caring that he was naked under the robe; though he did tighten it a bit more.

The new death eaters were talking among themselves, they were each trying to boast about it not hurting, even the ones who screamed, and how they were going to make the Dark Lord proud of them. It wasn't just Hogwarts students, there were students from Drumstrang and other schools Harry hadn't heard of. Harry wondered what the six who failed were going to do now, would they get a chance to retry, or would they not be allowed to try again and end up sitting out of the war; what would happen to them then? Neville was in one of the halls talking with Draco, seeing that made Harry walk over to them.

"Neville, what are you doing here?" Harry watched both boys turn to look at him.

"Malfoy told me about the prophesy, about what it was and that it was fake..." Neville looked at the ground. "I know my parents would be disappointed in me for doing this, but they will at least be safe during the war this way."

"How do you know about the prophesy Malfoy?" Harry turned his head to the blonde.

Draco rubbed the back of his neck looking away. "I kind of over heard you and Snape talking before I went back to school, I...I had to tell Longbottom..."

Eying the young owner of the manor, Harry's hand twitched at his side. "So you were spying on us, but why would you want to tell Neville? You have picked on him for years, why did you want him to join us?"

"...He is a pureblood, the more of them we can save and bring to our side the better..." Draco swallowed, he suddenly looked really nervous.

"In other words you are dating now." Harry said it so only they could hear, Neville and Draco's faces turned bright red. "Knew there had to be another reason that Neville would come here and trust you." he laughed.

Draco rolled his eyes and groaned. "Yes fine...but you are with Snape, how the bloody hell did that happen."

"Looks like you over heard more than just about the prophesy..." Harry itched his left cheek. "Well, a lot of stuff happened and I am not comfortable talking about it or thinking about it anymore, it is in the past now and I am changing my life. But we're together and he keeps my mind off all the crap I've been through in such a short period of time." that ended the subject rather quickly. "It is good to see you though Neville, it shows me you aren't one of the ones using me."

"I was really worried about you Harry, you are my friend, and I thought you were dead..." Neville shifted uncomfortably. "I honestly couldn't stand being at school anymore...while Mal...Draco had stopped his harassment's, others didn't. Dean and Seamus saw me talking with Draco, they called me a traitor, even before I had my mind made up to change sides...I thought they had accepted me and I had been putting off making such a big choice, then Draco said that all the wannabe death eaters were leaving school and I ended up here."

The two boys were trying their hardest not to ask Harry about being Voldemort's son, they feared that if they did the Dark Lord would be angry. Draco was about to say something, when a couple of the others walked over to them. "So if you are the Dark Lord's kid, are you still Harry Potter or what is your real name?" the black haired boy asking was obviously from Drumstrang, so were the others who had come over, the Hogwarts students knew Harry, and felt too awkward to go over to him. "You shouldn't bother with these two, we can be your new friends, we weren't turned soft by going to Hogwarts with Mudbloods." Draco's eye twitched, but he smirked when the boy put his hand out and Harry just stared at it.

"Yea, if you had gone to Hogwarts with me you would know that I don't like being told who I should and shouldn't be friends with." Harry folded his arms. "I don't really know Malfoy enough to be his friend after all the shit he pulled in school, but Neville is my friend and if he can forgive Malfoy I can to, I don't need friends who want to be my friends just because of my name or now because of who my father is." he watched their faces twist from their annoyance of being talked down to. "If you don't like how I am talking to you, because you guys are use to getting your way, deal with it, we are all on the same side and thinking you are better than anyone else just because of the school you went to? Focus more on the objective of this war, getting rid of Dumbledore and taking over the Ministry."

"Don't forget killing Mudbloods and keeping Muggles away from our bloodlines. Because of them most pureblood lines have ended, they are weakening us and if this continues we all will end up being squibs in a few more generations!" One of the Drumstrang girls yelled.

Harry rubbed his forehead. "I have seen the Weasley and Black family trees, it would probably do some good to stop inbreeding with each others families based purely on how rich they are for the most part..." that shut the girl up, but it also made Draco glare at Harry as he was part of the Black family, which Harry was now actually his cousin, but only Harry knew that. "Also, if any Weasley's are left alive at the end of this war, they might be poor, but there are a lot of them and their purebloods, if you are so worried about purebloods dying out stop being picky about looks and money."

Neville and a couple Hogwarts students snickered, they didn't really care about their families being inbred because it meant they got more inheritance from both sides, Draco was just annoyed cause his mother's side was mentioned, the Drumstrang students took it that he was calling them more inbred than the others. "You are lucky you are the Dark Lord's son, if you were just some normal kid I'd teach you a lesson for talking to us like that." the black haired boy said low to Harry. "Come on guys, we don't need to be around these idiots." Neville had to hold onto Draco to stop him from hexing the boy, the Drumstrang students walked away from them.

"I am so glad I didn't end up going to that school after all..." Draco sighed. "I thought I was a total git, imagine how I'd be if I went to that school..."

"Probably a bit more brave." Harry commented without thinking, causing Neville to laugh and cover his own mouth.

"Ha, very funny..." Draco took Neville's hand. "We're going to go to my room to get away from watching any more people try to be your friends."

Harry shook his head and headed over to Severus, Draco pulling Neville up the stairs. "So, you are going to be a Professor again, which subject?"

The other professors looked at Harry as he walked over to them. "I'm doing Advance Defense Against Magic, can't really call it against the Dark Arts can we?" Severus rolled his shoulders back. "I will also be teaching Advance Potions."

"What are you all teaching then?" Harry asked the other four.

"I am Professor Greene, I will be teaching Beginners Defense Against Magic" She was a tall thin woman with dyed green hair, small blue eyes, and a small round nose.

"Professor Sikes, I will be teaching Charms." He was fat tall, with a thin pointy nose,bald, and had orange eyes.

"Professor Hans, I am teaching Beginners Potions." He was short and thin, with spiky white hair,bright blue eyes, and a long hooked nose.

"Professor Avery, I will be teaching all of you how to become Animagus and Transfiguration, which will be useful during the battle." She was blonde,had dark brown eyes, was tall and of average weight, and her nose was thin and round.

These were the Professors that would be teaching all the new recruits everything, till the battle was ready, Harry wondered exactly how long it was going to take for the students to learn what they needed to, and how much patience his father had. He wondered what the Order would be doing during the time they had while they were training, could they be doing the same thing? He and the others wouldn't know till the battle actually started. When the bodies of those killed on that day were found as a taunt, how would the Ministry and the Order respond?

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Draco and Neville have their own side story now, The Ferret and The Toad. This chapter I avoided a sex scene and time jumped, because all I'd be writing was how classes are going and they go from early morning till night, which leave Severus and Harry exhausted and hardly seeing each other. This chapter also will start the war and not have them all stuck in a house hiding away in the next chapters.

It had been a week since Harry,Draco, and Neville had officially become Death Eaters, all three of them had been hanging together instead of with the other students, the Hogwarts students felt to awkward to be around Harry as the Slytherins had treated him so badly in school; the other houses felt weird about it because they didn't know how to act around Harry. All of those from Hogwarts had issues with the students from Drumstrang after how they'd acted the day they joined, it was a small study war between both schools ex-students, each one wanting to prove they were better; both having a couple dimwitted members that they were pressuring into studying more.

The adults were also starting to get more competitive about their younger family members, the ones without children watching and thinking all of them were being idiots. Voldemort didn't care what his followers did as long as they followed his orders and didn't do anything that caused a problem to his plans, Sirius found it fun to say things that ended up causing fights; the Professors were living in hell. Classes were going well enough though, even with the problems, only Draco,Neville, and Harry, were able to go on to learn how to become an Animagus; the some of the others quit the Patronus part of Charms class, when they couldn't make Patronus' right away and didn't want to put the effort to try again. Sirius had warned those who stayed in the class that only strong Wizards could become Animagus, that if they couldn't even do a Patronus they shouldn't do it, that the spell had bad side effects if they weren't strong enough; a few had continued to try to learn how to do the charm, even if it never took a form.

Neville having been part of Dumbledore's Army had already had Patronus lessons with Hermione, Hermione having interest in the spell because of third year when she saw Harry use the spell, and he had privately taught Draco when they were alone; neither of them had told Harry that. Harry had shown off his Stag Patronus on the first day, Draco revealed that his Patronus was a Peacock, meaning he was vain and liked to show off, which made the students in that class snicker, and then Neville's became a Gryffin; which was funny to some because or him having been in Gryffindor, but it also made them nervous. The students had asked why they couldn't become Animagus without knowing the Patronus charm, Sirius and the Professor revealed that Animagus forms were believed to be full body versions of their Patronus'; everyone, including Harry and Draco stared at Neville once they heard that.

"So, what you are saying is...When we actually are able to become Animagus, I am going to turn into a Gryffin, Draco is going to be a Peacock, and Harry is going to be a Stag?" Neville glanced at Draco, the lighter blonde's eye was twitching, the both of them had thought they'd both turn into something useful, what was a Peacock going to do to escape in a pinch, let alone fight; at least Harry, as a Stag, could take off running faster, Peacocks couldn't even really fly well enough to escape a spell.

"It is a high possibility, from what we've researched it seems to be the case with most people, there are some who don't have corporeal Patronus' and in rarer cases, can't make a Patronus at all. But those who we know can do full corporeal Patronus', do turn into the animals which their Patronus' take the form of." Professor Avery sighed. "I had wished that more students would have been able to join my Animagus class..." she frowned at Professor Sikes.

Professor Sikes glared at the blonde woman. "It is not my fault, you know that it is a hard spell to learn and only you,Professor Snape, and myself are able to produce a Patronus out of even the adults!" he placed a hand to the side of his head, getting a head ache. "The children just aren't able to, there is way too much darkness clouding their lives. Trying to force them to learn how to make a Patronus will just make it impossible for them to ever make one."

"Then why were we, Professor Snape, and these three boys able to so easily?" Professor Avery snapped at the bald man, both Professors forgetting they were in the same room as nine teenagers, began to fight.

While the two Professors continued to argue with each other, the students walked out of the room. Draco was annoyed that he was going to be stuck as a Peacock as his other form, that was if he was even able to become a Animagus. When Neville's Patronus had finally taken a form Draco was jealous, his jealousy had only just subsided, and now that Neville was possibly going to become one as a second form, it had come back. Harry watched as Neville went after his jealous boyfriend.

Harry went to watch the last part of Severus' Advanced Potions class, which Harry wasn't skilled enough to be in. He and the other nine, who weren't able to take the Advanced classes took Charms and Transfiguration during Advance Potions and Advance Defense Against Magic classes, while taking normal Defense Against Magic and Potions, the other six students had their turn with Charms and Transfiguration; so all the Professors were working all day long with all the students. Even if a student had given up on the class they had to stay in the room and watch the others learn instead of wasting time.

The six students who were taking Severus' class were obviously stressed, their hands shook as they mixed their ingredients, Severus standing in front with his arms folded; Harry didn't miss being Severus' student. "Class has ended, the potions will sit for twenty-four hours and if they were made correctly, you will not die." Severus watched the students pale and pick their cauldrons up carefully. They had learned not to question Severus their first day of class, when they asked why they needed to take potions now, why they couldn't wait till after the war; Severus snapped at them that in a time of war it was better to be prepared than dead.

More Death Eater recruits had come, but they were sent to another hideout, the Manor was already full of adults and the twenty-one teens; the six who failed the week before were being 'educated' by older Death Eaters to not be weaklings about killing. Severus glanced at Harry, he was in professional mode and just nodded his head at Harry, watching his students carefully put their cauldrons on a table and leave. Severus let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Why aren't you in your class?" Severus walked over to Harry.

"Professor Sikes and Professor Avery started to fight and the class stopped..." Harry rubbed the back of his head.

"I knew it was a mistake to let Sikes stay in the room after his class to watch her class..." Severus groaned, they might all be on the same side and colleagues, but it didn't mean they were all friends.

Harry and Severus walked out of the room, there had been whispers about them, the Hogwarts students not understanding why Severus was nicer to Harry now; they'd seen them go into the same room, but figured it was to save room for other Death Eaters to come. The two of them went to their room, Severus closing the door behind them, as Harry kicked his slippers off, before doing the same himself. The Malfoy's forced everyone to wear slippers on their floors, only Voldemort and Sirius were exempt from the rule; Sirius just walked around barefoot.

Walking behind Harry, Severus wrapped his arms around the teen, kissing his neck. "Mn..." Harry closed his eyes, they moved over to the bed.

Severus laid beside Harry, kissing him, his hand resting on the green eyed boy's hip, neither of them had the drive to do anything more than make out on the bed; teaching and learning all day long had gotten to them. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' shoulders, kissing him back, Severus pulling him closer. Pulling back from the kiss, Harry rested his head on Severus' chest, listening to his heart beat, the hand on his hip moving to his back; they both soon fell asleep.

While Voldemort had the teens studying, the adults who were still undercover had started to move. They had spent months befriending more of their coworkers at the Ministry, gaining their trust, and planned to use the Imperius Curse on them as soon as Voldemort gave the order. Others were distracting the Aurors and the Order by attacking Muggle towns all over Britain. A month after Harry and the others had come to the second manor, Remus arrived, as the war was getting closer, and Sirius wanted his best friend pulled out of mole duty; in case either of them were to die in battle, he wanted to be with his friend. There were even some who had kidnapped Muggle's in high positions and used Polyjuice to impersonate them. Death Eaters had gone out to recruit the Giants and werewolves, as well as other Wizards that had once been only supporters.

Five months had passed since Harry ran away from school with Severus, everyone who wasn't at the second manor believed Harry,Neville,Remus, and Sirius to be was now set into place, Voldemort called all his Death Eaters that weren't busy to the manor, the house was soon filled with black cloaked wizards and witches. The day that the students left Hogwarts, parents were in an uproar, many took their children out of the school, and now there were only a few left there that only had two more days left before school ended.

Umbridge and Fudge kept insisting that the Dark Lord wasn't back, that the Death Eaters were acting on their own accord, Fudge had also tried to insinuate that Dumbledore had turned dark and was their new leader, many in the Wizarding community wanting answers to the children disappearing so easily from Hogwarts. Even Death Eater parents that were undercover, but had told their children to leave the school, were acting like their children had been kidnapped. Because of Dumbledore leaving the school before he could be questioned about why he believed the Dark Lord was back, even with Harry denying it, it seemed to some of the Wizarding world that the man had been the one to kidnap Harry for admitting he lied and was the new dark Wizard; he had stuck up for Severus Snape a known Death Eater and allowed him to work in the school, it was also known that Snape had been the one to take Harry.

"Tonight we will start the take over of the Ministry and attack Hogwarts!" Voldemort yelled from behind his mask, Sirius stood to his right. Sirius was upset that Voldemort was still treating Harry like just another follower, he also only had been able to spend a little bit of time with his son with all the training going on. "Those who are currently in the Ministry are waiting for my signal to act, you all have trained and waited for this day. No longer will your descendants blood be soiled by Muggles or Mudbloods!" he smirked as his followers cheered, Harry rolled his eyes, he'd been told by Sirius that Voldemort was actually a half blood, and Severus was feeling awkward because of his own bloodline.

Harry watched as Neville removed his robes and mask, his skin was bruised and he was wearing dirty raggy clothing, and was followed by a couple others. Neville along with a few others had the dark mark placed on their outer thighs, as the common place was their arms and that was where the enemy would look; their jobs were to deceive and act like they'd been tortured as prisoners. The bruises were real, Harry had heard the screams, Neville and the others had been starved for a week as well, they needed it to look real and not as a spell. Draco wrapped his arms around Neville in a hug, his father frowning at the action, he didn't approve of the relationship.

"Harry..." Remus walked over to him. "Are you really going to be alright with fighting?" he'd already expressed that he did not want to fight if it could be helped, but he'd be on stand by in the shadows if he was needed; he still was torn between sides and had only joined Voldemort because of Sirius. Remus had been mortified by Sirius' reasons he believed Dumbledore had caused James and Lily's deaths.

"If possible, I rather those I once considered friends to be captured alive..." Harry could never be their friend again, he killed Molly. "I want to question them under Veritaserum, I need to know if our friendships were real, or if it was because I was the boy who lived...I need to know if I made a mistake..." he saw the sad look over come Remus, smiling weakly, he glanced over at Sirius. " ….Either choice I would have made would have felt like a mistake anyway...If they were my friends and everything was a paranoid illusion influenced by the note I found...I will regret my actions...but had I stayed with them, I would have regretted never being with Sirius..." he decided to leave out the Horcrux also being an influence and the rape messing with his mind.

Remus squeezed Harry's shoulder, he left the manor before everyone else. One by one each Death Eater broke off into groups and left the manor, each knew their jobs and were to wait for Voldemort's signal to start the war. Harry watched Neville leave with a group of werewolves, Draco was being fussed over by his mother, Lucius telling his son to be careful. Severus came over to Harry grabbing his hand, they both had decided to be in the same group as Draco and Sirius; Voldemort was going to be with Lucius and the rest of his most trusted, yet insane, inner circle of Death Eaters.

Harry was about to leave with his group, when Voldemort slowly walked up beside him and whispered in Parseltongue. "If things go wrong and I happen to lose, which I won't, but there is a probability...Take Longbottom, Malfoy,Severus,Nagini, and Sirius, and go into hiding." the Dark Lord rolled his shoulders back. "At least till I come back to finish the job, even if it takes a few more years for me to come back fully." he had six Horcrux's still. "Nagini will be able to tell you how to bring me back if the worst happens."

"Alright, you better not lose though, I don't think I can stand going into hiding for years...I've already hated just a few months." Harry hissed back.

Voldemort let out a loud high pitched cackle, Sirius raising an eye brow, and the others flinching from the noise. Harry then left the manor, leaving Voldemort with his selected few as the last to leave. All of the Death Eaters spread out, Harry stood in the forbidden forest, they were to wait for anyone who took off running into the forest to escape the battle, they also kept their eyes out for any Centaurs; they were keeping out of their territory and Harry worried about the spiders. Harry watched Severus,Draco, and two other Death Eaters who were with them, flinch and put their hands to wear their dark marks were. That was the signal, the Death Eaters who were outside buildings rose their wands to the sky, and filled it with the dark mark.

Screams filled the Ministry as friends turned against friends, using the Imperius curse, and killing those who resisted. Fudge grabbed his belongings and ran down the hall toward the exit, his heart racing, sweat soaking his clothes, and his eyes wide. Bodies falling left and right of him, Fudge had almost made it, but Alecto Carrow had sent the killing curse at him before he could. Those who had dropped their wands to submit to the Death Eaters, stared in horror as the Minister was killed, and were quickly taken prisoner. A large group of Death Eaters were marching toward the school, while the Ministry was under attack, they only had a short while before the Aurors who weren't at the Ministry were going to show up.

TBC


End file.
